btsh.org

Third Star
Sam from Mathematics
by Probie

If you’re a younger sibling in a hockey family, chances are that you’ve had to strap on goalie pads and hop between the pipes at some point in your life. That experience came in handy for Sam Norris and the rest of Math this Sunday as they survived by a score of 6-5.

A mid water break cigarette break to try and shake the painful memories of taking hundreds of clappers from the Norris clan in the driveway.

Top scorer, winning goalie, ref manager and ref, league event planner and socialite, is there anything this guy can’t do? Sam Norris continues to embody the true spirit of BTSH, always having fun and never taking this league too seriously. I think we all can learn something from this future BTSH Hall of Famer

Second Star
RJ from Poutine Machine
by Isaac

Through the thick air and oppressive humidity RJ of Poutine withstood the barrage of shots from the juggernaut that Fresh Kills are.  Lasting regulation, overtime and then the shootout, he took FK to the brink of their first regular season loss by stopping 2 out of 3 shooters.  (Guess who scored to shootout winner, Ariel, who else?)  He’s new to the league, so perhaps no one told him a Division 4 team isn’t supposed to that to a Division 1 undefeated team.

Welcome to the league, RJ.

Afterwards, with only 15 seconds to hydrate and mentally shake off that game, he hoped in net for the desperate Butchers.  (I say desperate, because their goalie has been out with an injury and finding an available goalie each week has been a daunting task.  Get off their back!)  Standing tall and playing just as solid for 50+ minutes against the Gremlins the heat and humidity finally won the real battle (health) and he refunded some of the delicious goalie union approved water.

First Star
Suvin from Filthier / Filthy Gorgeous / BTSH

Best of luck out west.

by Adam R. ‘I hated playing against Suvin because he always made me look slow and bad at hockey. More than usual I mean…’

by Rich G. ‘The award for Best Duo was never based on hockey. If it was, Suvin and James would win it every year. They knew where each other were, better than a husband who paid a private investigator to follow his cheating wife around. Classy guy and please come back to knock off FK, the Rehabs, and Gut Rot in the Playoffs.’

by Dana K. ‘Here are my 4 favorite Suvin memories:’

1. I will miss him yelling, “James, James, James!” through a mouthguard anytime James has the ball and Suvin DOES NOT HAVE THE BALL. James, he needs the ball RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.
2. I once went to Suvin’s Halloween party and he was dressed up as Maverick from Top Gun and James was Goose and I asked Monica, “Whose idea do you think it was for them to dress as Goose and Maverick?” and she said, “Suvin’s. Because no one has ever said, “Let’s dress as Goose and Maverick for Halloween and I’ll be Goose.”
3. When Suvin was on the Squirrels Monica Liza and I all used to call him Suvin the Magic Squirrel. Not because he was so good at hockey, but because he once ordered tatter tots at Iggy’s and they came to the table within 5 seconds. It was truly magic.
4. Suvin once showed up to the first game of the season years ago with neon green shoe laces and pants with neon green piping to match our shirts, only to find that we had changed the color of the shirts. He looked sad and dejected, like a little kid who was told there was no more cake.

by Sunny ‘I’m losing my brown brother in crime (and shots on goal!).  Will definitely miss his patented backhand shot from the slot.  The San Fran league will be in for a nice surprise when he shows up!’

by Ann M. ‘Suvin, sad to see you go but I’m happy the day has finally come when I’m #1 in James’ eyes…oh wait, Sunny is still around right? All jokes aside, thank you for being an awesome friend and teammate these past few years. No one could ever fill your shoes.’

by James P. ’10 years ago I lost my brother Joseph (ex-Filthy Gorgeous) to the west coast.  Today I’m losing another.  Suv has been the greatest wingman of all time, as well as the best captain, teammate, and brother. When he shows up to games, everyone on the team gets better.  I have always fed off his determination, relentlessness to better himself, and his sense of the game.  While he goes on to represent BTSH/Mofo on the west coast and continues burying it top shelf, he will always be on the rink with us in spirit.  Toast to shots at Seacrets.’

from Suvin: ‘After 13 amazing seasons and one hard-earned (ok bought) championship my days as a regular BTSH’er have come to an end.  Hands down playing in this league has been the best experience of my time in NYC.   Growing up as a kid in Toronto, playing street hockey was a great equalizer – it didn’t matter where you were from, if you played hard and clean you could always join a game, have some fun and make new friends.  BTSH has been no different (well except the beers) where thanks to all of you for a couple of hours every Sunday I’ve gotten to be that same kid meeting some truly amazing people along the way, including of course my wingman (on and off the court) James the “Gentleman” Pereira.  Hopefully I’ll be back once in a while to join in for a (playoff) game – until then I’ll sorely miss the competition and camaraderie on Sundays at Tompkins but thanks for the great memories (and a capped front tooth) I’ll be fondly taking with me.’

Honorable mention:

Alex aka AFD aka Tarzan from Butchers
by Rachel G

Sometimes your little sister does awesome things, like introduce you to this amazing ball hockey league to help you waste your Sundays. Sometimes she does less awesome things, like let her pup eat the family Butchers pinny. Result: You look like Tarzan playing ball hockey on slick pavement. BTSH thanks MDF for her hand in creating this spectacle, and the butchers thank you both for bringing Danberg-Ficarelli-Ficarelli Danberg magic to the courts. Let’s not forget the toothless mouthguard, it adds an extra-special touch. Also…RIP righty.

Tarzan.

After much deliberation (complaining, arguing but not writing) by the media. Isaac and I have cobbled together your three stars. Really though, this week, I don’t think you needed the media. BTSH, you guys nailed it! The photos on the Facebook page said it all. JW’s passive aggressive ‘thank you’ to those that cleaned up? Classic JW.

by Rachel G & Isaac

Third Star
All-Star Antics

Some traditions get better with age, and this one…well it has. While us old f*cks talk about the good old days – I don’t think anyone can pretend this all star game wasn’t one of the best. It would take an epic feat of journalism (or maybe just a little more effort) to recount all of the accomplishments, so we apologize in advance for what we’ve left off, but here’s a few: there was a bird-headed woman (Tia) handing out orange slices and bananas, sister’s in crazy matching outfits (Cheeky and Sarah), a tennis skirted-Longwell, beer races/obstacles/wacky challenges (Sam) and yes, a Siamese twin goalie (Eric and Showtime).

Best Duo

Second Star
Akhil from Davos Seaworth (Gut Rot)

He’s the one in the red cap.

This green onion layered ogre has quietly turned into one of GR’s most reliable (and probably valuable) players.  No, no, no, this isn’t credit for his shot-gunning beers, tequila toss backs, or other drinking related accomplishments. I think Heather might own that one? But Gut Rot – please set us straight. This is for his stout play and 6 (SIX) game scoring streak.  While nobody was looking, and Gut Rot’s been racking the wins…Akhil as been smiling, looking casual, and just consistently scoring.  If he doesn’t score this week, it’s on us. We talked about it. Sorry.

First Star
Clean-up Crew

Thank You

Asking party goers to help out by cleaning up is like asking the Hookers to use the Free Agent list for subs – it just doesn’t happen.  Well, almost never, for party goers that is.

A HUGE thanks to all the BTSHers that stuck around at the end of the All-Star game and pitched in to clean up the courts.  The aftermath of the game left pure devastation in its wake and it was just as disgusting to clean up.  Some of the reported mess were beer cans (duh), soaked cardboard containers, two 6-foot subs (Chadwick did’t have any more room behind his radiator), and an iPhone.  (Sorry, MDF and Nina, no mirrored twin gloves were found.)

Honorable mention:

Social Committee – for finally getting its act together and hastily putting together the All-Star game.  You pulled it off!

Danielle H from The Wildlings (Instant Karma) – for introducing Party Subs instead of pizza (not that there is anything wrong with pizza).

Mike T from Khal Drogo (Sky Fighters) – really, five in one game?  Hardly seems fair that Mike remain in the league.  Or maybe the ref just kept penciling in Mike as a placeholder for each Sky Fighter goal.  (Yeah, that sounds more likely.)

SAVE THE DATE

BTSH Olympics 2017 is coming to the Parkside Lounge on Sunday, July 30th.  More information to follow…

by Rachel G

3rd star – The Lbs. + Liz B: Losing & Finding

In case you guys missed this riveting story on Facebook (thanks for breaking up the monotony of Glanzer’s poker “doppleganger” posts), the Lbs. really ruled lost and found this week. They kicked us off leaving their goalie’s equipment at the court (really guys?!?), but somehow redeemed themselves when Liz B came up big with Brady’s precious shades. Way to even out that +/-, Liz.  So who lost at this game? These three: Julie K, who owes Liz a drink. JW, who sucks at lost and found. MDF who still can’t find Righty :(.

Well, Ali didn’t dress herself while sober.

2nd star – This Is a Beer League

Sometimes I fear that with all the focus on standings, leading goal scorers and people throwing punches/headlocks, we might be losing sight of what this league is…a beer league. Gut Rot has always embodied that spirit of the league, and this week they kept alive an old tradition, Gut Rot Beach Day. Who doesn’t love a Sunday when Gut Rot shows up for a late game late, drunk, and sandy? Maybe the Lbs. don’t like it, they might still be sore about the time Gut Rot (actually Mexican Standoff)’s beach day went right through their match-up. Gut Rot gets to share this star with the BTSH social committee. You guys are doing a great job of getting good and drunk. You know what feels great Monday morning? Burping up those ‘ritas…or so they tell me.

1st star – That Free Agent Goalie

Flawless defensive execution by L-Mac and a great save by Kat.

If any of you sad saps were still hanging out at the courts (not obeying the BTSH social committee), you might have caught the Riots/Mega game. LMac scoured the free agent goalie list and came out with this bad ass chick with the pink pads. Now I know those kids are loyal to Dave GDR, but damn she gave him a run for his money (sorry Dave). She held strong, stoning Mega and their leading goal scorers. Except that cross court blast that came just .5 seconds too late. Surry, Mega.

Honorable Mention:

Mia from the Sky Fighters and her wide array of vintage baseball cards.
How can you entertain a few hundred aging “athletes”? Bring them cards of actual athletes that remind them of when they were actually young.

Rosie’s plot against the Lbs.
Rosie figured out how to beat the Lbs! It goes something like this: Start dating their captain, infiltrate Lbs Poconos retreat weekend, get stung by a wasp and have an allergic reaction take a crap load of Benadryl. Score two goals in the first half and then pass out on the sideline. Boom. #butchersvictory.

THIRD STARS
Hat Tricks, Hat Tricks, Hat Tricks

Zac H., the Pucks’ Human Grease Fire (HGF), notched another triple-goal game with one of those goals scored on a crazy loft to himself that he batted in the net out of thin air.  And when his team went to a shoot-out who do you think netted the winner?  Yeah, welcome to the male rookie of the year conversation, HGF.

James P. from Filthier, or better known as the Gentleman, has been streaking lately with 7 goals in the past 4 games to the tune of 1-1-2-3.  En fuego!

Karsten P. from House LBS, Inc. cracked the Rehabs’ near impenetrable defense and impregnable goalie not once, not twice, but three friggin’ times.  (Teach me.)

Ariel I. from Fresh Kills may not wind up in the media discussion as much as he should, but the league certainly understands how lethal he is.  For a player who thinks to pass first, he’s quietly amassed 10 goals half-way through the season.

Brian K. from Denim Demons scored his first three goals of the season and has brought some much needed fire power to a stagnant Demon offense.

SECOND STARS
Ugh, Those Effing Herrs

This past Sunday the league and Math bid farewell to one of its loved members, Steph C.  Steph hails from the Herr clan and is primarily responsible for the destructive debauchery and festive hi-jinx that Sarah and Cheeky reign upon us each week.   Sending Steph out West in style, her family got the party started on the sidelines by distributing beverages, heckling refs, and cheering on Math.  Then they turned the clock back to 2015 by leading the charge to ACE Bar where BTSHers were celebrating Sarah’s 21^st birthday (again), throwing back spirits and dangling from the chandeliers.

Well BTSH, we’ve official got a problem, but it’s a good one to have. 😉

Those Multi-Game Goalies

You think it is rough running around with the temperature near August levels?  Try heaping on layers of pads and equipment and then sliding, leaping, jumping, rolling, clenching and covering without a shift break or the protection of shade for a half.  That’s what Dave GDR (Riots), Scott H (Poutine), Jamie (Gremlins), and Eitan (Free Agent) did for not just their own teams, but also a whole other game too.  Thanks for stepping up and putting your health at risk for league dedication.  Now please, reward yourself with some ice water and replenish those electrolytes.

Not saying we’ve heard anything official, but there’s a whisper that the Goalie Union may use this as leverage in their CBA negotiations at the end of the season.

FIRST STARS
Brady from Mega Touch

With the scorching heat of the day nearing its peak, and his winless team beginning to wilt, Brady pointed to the heavens and then accomplished the impossible.  Cradling Tuckman’s goalie ball a couple feet behind the goal line, he leaned into his inbounding shot and fired a laser directly down court that completed its journey by landing in the opposing team’s net.  The shock, disbelief, and fear (along with perspiration blinding the Gremmie’s net minder) that paralyzed the opposition only revived Mega with a sense of hope and determination.  On his next shift he joined his team’s offensive rush, creating an odd-man advantage, and taking a pass from a forward he shot it over the goalie’s right shoulder for the game-winning-goal.

That’s a Mega performance.

Mega Touch, baby!

It has taken all season for last season’s formerly-known-as-Greene-division champs to taste victory again, and oh how sweet it was.  (You know, they say hunger is the best spice.)  Mega’s strong defensive efforts led by Joe, Larry & Co. stymied the Gremlins prolific offense by creating turnovers in the neutral zone (uh, that area around mid-court), odd-man rushes (see above) and limiting Cody to a single goal.  It was a complete team effort to win the match up against a divisional foe and survive the oppressive heat of the early afternoon.

Take note BTSH, Mega’s got its groove back.

Honorable Mentions:
The Wonder Women of BTSH: last week Tia from Dark Rainbows rounded up a posse of some of the toughest, craziest and wildest ladies in the league to check out DC’s Heroine.  Inspired by the Amazon Princess’ performance they were tearing it up on Sunday and afterwards seen grabbing Chris’ left and right for a little sugar.  You go, girls.

Liz B. from LBS, Inc.: who showed up early on Sunday and lent a helping hand to setting up the courts.  Big thanks from all of the Gremmies.

Amber M., Cherie S. (2 goals and 3 assists), Jackie S., Michele U. and Lu M. for representing BTSH at the Ball Hockey World Championship in Pardubice, Czech Republic!  Yeah, baby!