Posts Tagged ‘Unicorns’
Week 16 Preview
Thursday, August 6th, 2009The Unicorns Are Planning Another Upset
GAME OF THE WEEK
Unicorns (8-6) vs. What The Puck (11-3)
Location: Tompkins West, 2:00 PM
All-Time Series: Tied 7-7
Game Notes: What The Puck captain Larry “Mad Dog” Zimmer has had this game circled on his calendar for a month and a half. Week 11 saw What The Puck swagger into the first matchup between these Woodsworth Divisioin rivals, undefeated and cocky. However, with Adriano “Muscles Marinara” on the disabled list for Larry’s Orange Juggernaut, the Unicorns were victorious 3-2, handing WTP its first loss of the season. Since then, both teams have struggled, as the Unicorns have gone 1-3, and What The Puck has gone 2-2. Each team will look to shake out of the doldrums in this pivotal divisional tilt.
Keys To The Game:
1. After a four-game absence, What The Puck forward Adriano “Muscles Marinara” Bratta returned with a bang, scoring five goals in the team’s 10-2 victory over Mega Touch last week. He is now the league’s second leading scorer with 17 goals on the season.
2. Although it is difficult to tell by just their first names, Unicorns 2009 acquisitions Susanna and Victoria are indeed sisters. Thus, they possess a chemistry on the court that few will ever comprehend.
3. With the Mad Dog out of town, Mike “The X-Factor” Woodsworth took over the reins of captain for What The Puck last week. Is this a sign of a potential power struggle in the future?
Eli’s Pick: What The Puck. Larry will not let his team lose twice to the same opponent.
Derek’s Pick: What The Puck. They looked very impressive last week, and that was with onlyl half the roster present.
Watchability: 4 Ventolieris. It would have been 5, but Ant is playing in this game.
Photo of the Week
Wednesday, July 29th, 2009Breaking: Squirrels Add Two More Goalies
Photo courtesy of Jesse Kalb
Sorry, Mungo.
Week 9 Preview
Thursday, June 4th, 2009Unicorns Aim To Devour Filthy Gorgeous
GAME OF THE WEEK
Filthy Gorgeous (5-1-1) vs. Unicorns (5-2)
Location: Tompkins West, 3:00 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-1-1
Game Notes: After winning their first five games of the season, Filthy Gorgeous has gone winless in the last two weeks, losing to the Dark Rainbows and then tying the Denim Demons. Their potent offense, which averaged six goals a game during their five-game winning streak, has been held to just two goals in the last two games. However, the defense remains staunch, as Filthy has allowed only 10 goals all season, including a shutout against the Demons last week. The Unicorns have won their last three games, although each has been by only one goal. Despite this impressive run, their loss against the Happy Little Elves remains a puzzling dark cloud to their season. Although they clearly have the potential to play at an elite level, they also have the potential to lay an egg every now and then. Which version will show up on Sunday when they face their Woodsworth Division rivals Filthy Gorgeous?
Keys To The Game:
1. While “Gentleman” James Pereira leads Filthy Gorgeous with nine goals and has received most of the fanfare for his accomplishment, Sunny Mehra has quietly chipped in seven of his own. He remains an underrated force on the team.
2. Although Susanna of the Unicorns has only two goals this season, she has come through in the clutch multiple times. She scored the only shootout goal in their win against the Mathematics and tallied the overtime goal to beat the Corlears Hookers.
3. Though the game’s existence is questionable, Filthy Gorgeous defeated the Unicorns 4-2 in a tight week 5 battle. Although Filthy wore their electric lime throwback jerseys for that game, captain Monica Russo has ruled against breaking them out a second time.
Eli’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous. A win will give them some momentum for their showdown with the Corlears Hookers next week.
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous. Although they didn’t get the result they wanted last weekend, their level of hockey was playoff caliber.
Week 5 Preview
Thursday, April 30th, 2009Monica Has Jesus On Her Side
GAME OF THE WEEK
Unicorns (2-2) vs. Filthy Gorgeous (4-0)
Location: Tompkins West, 4:00 PM
All-Time Series: Filthy Gorgeous leads 2-1-1
Game Notes: The Unicorns enter this Woodsworth Division matchup on the heels of a stunning loss to the mildly popular Happy Little Elves. Of greater concern than the loss itself, however, was that their normally potent offense was held scoreless. Despite this loss, the Unicorns will retain possession of the extremely prestigious (yet imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup, largely due to a huge week 1 victory against the Dark Rainbows. While Filthy Gorgeous does not possess any cup, the team does possess the highest scoring offense in BTSH, with 26 goals in four games. Half of their goals have come off the sticks of “Gentleman” James Pereira (7) and Sunny Mehra (6). They now sit atop the standings, tied with fellow Woodsworth Division rival, What The Puck. The Unicorns’ fast-paced offense has the potential to upset even the toughest of teams in BTSH, but it will need to be firing on all cylinders to defeat a front-running Filthy Gorgeous team.
Keys To The Game:
1. The Unicorns’ offense will look to Chris, as he now leads the team with four goals on the season. More important, he also leads the team in smiles and general good-naturedness.
2. Filthy Gorgeous goalie Dan “D.O.” Owens already has a shutout to his credit and has only allowed just five goals in three games. However, his numbers are trending in the wrong direction as his GAA has increased with each game. Owens will need to reverse this pattern for Filthy to be successful.
3. Although the uniform has been labeled one of the ugliest in the history of BTSH, captain Monica Russo has ordered her teammates to wear their throwback, electric lime jerseys from 2006. It is clearly not a coincidence that these jerseys bear an eery resemblance to those of the Happy Little Elves, the team that defeated the Unicorns last week. Of course, Monica would never be that devious…
Eli’s Pick: Happy Littles Elves Filthy Gorgeous
Derek’s Pick: Filthy Gorgeous. Wow! A game of the week involving Filthy with no mention of Ashy Larry. Oh, wait…
Season Preview: Unicorns
Tuesday, March 24th, 2009Rally Up!
Color: Yellow
Year Founded: 2001
2008 Regular Season Finish: 10-6-0-1 (9th place)
2008 Playoff Result: Lost to LBS, Inc. in quarterfinals
Division: Woodsworth
2009 Marketing Slogan: “Rally up!”
Key Additions: Susanna (Cobra Kai), Iannis (Free Agent), Victoria (Free Agent)
Key Losses: Allison B., Jill
