Three Stars from 9/14
I was faced with a choice. Write this post, or write my self-assessment for work – both of which are due today. I obviously chose incorrectly.
Three stars for this week – it was kind of a tough call to make. Nobody really got back to me about nominations. It’s more like I had to figure out the three stars this week by figuring out first who they weren’t.
Rachel Klion (pictured circa 2009) from the Rainbows probably wants a star. I can’t give her a star just for that alone. I was tempted to give her a star for her flagrant violation of the rulebook when she threw her stick (lol) at an Anklebiter who was on a breakaway, and then nonchalantly returned to the bench as if that was a totally legal play. Funny stuff, but we don’t want Klioning to become a trend around these parts.
Rich Glanzer (pic related) continues one of the longest running gags in BTSH, which is his inability to score. Somehow, Richie managed to get a pass at the top of the crease, shoot it through the goalie’s legs, and still miss wide of the far post. I’d give you a star for effort, but that would ruin the integrity of our three stars process. This ain’t the YMCA.
*** – Liam Martens (Cobra Kai)
Gotta be honest: I don’t know which one of the guys in this picture that I lifted from Facebook acquired fair-and-square is Liam. However, Mr. Martens had both goals in Cobra Kai’s 2-1 victory over Poutine Machine. That’s pretty much textbook star-worthy. He’d be higher, but unfortunately for him…
Noelle Safar of the Hookers potted two goals of her own, sealing a victory over division rivals Fresh Kills and helping the Hookers clinch the Brown Division. She also leads all women in goals with 9. What did you do with your weekend?
* – Jamie Batuwantudawe (Every fucking team that I play against ever Butchers)
Growing up, one of my favorite games was Wayne Gretzky’s 3D Hockey 98 for the N64. The game had a feature in which the goalie would sometimes morph into a brick wall when making a save. I used to love this game and specifically that part, but now I hate it because it reminds me of every time I have to play against Jamie. The guy is unreal and deserves every bit of the first star this week. Fuck you Jamie. But congratulations. But fuck you still.