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Adam Herman

There are only two weeks of BTSH remaining (ignoring a few makeups scheduled October 5th), though this year’s chaotic weather has helped create a scenario in which your favorite team has as many as five potential games remaining. This is the stretch run heading into the playoffs. There are many critical playoff seeds to be determined, some players are racing to meet the attendance thresholds, and a few elite individuals are battling it out in statistical categories.

But the biggest consequence of the regular season is arguably the promotion/relegation outcomes. One team will move up in Division 4, the teams book-ending Divisions 3 and 2 will go either up or down, and a team in the top division will head down a rung in the ladder. As the 2025 BTSH standings show, teams can succeed in any division, but the implications are still huge for next season’s schedule as well as securing bragging rights that make for a really impressive pickup line on dating apps. Or so I’ve heard.

Heading into the September 21st slate of games, let’s appraise where it all stands in each division.

Division One

It comes down to Vertz and Mega Touch for the division title. It’ll matter for playoff seeding and existential fulfillment but, despite what I’ve heard were Brian Hicks’ best lobbying efforts, there will be no promotion into college hockey’s NESCAC.

The Vertz sit on top of the division with 27 points; a tight but distinct lead over Mega Touch’s 26 points given the state of the schedule. Vertz have three remaining games on the schedule, compared to Mega’s two, and win the first standings tiebreaker by virtue of their 2-0 record in head-to-head matchups this season.

The Vertz’s magic number to clinch the division title (and top spot in the entire league) is three points, meaning that any combination of Vertz wins and Mega Touch losses that add up to three points will hand the title to Vertz. A Vertz win and Mega touch loss, or a Vertz OT loss and Mega Touch regulation loss, in today’s games would make it official.

There will be no such drama at the bottom of the division. With two games remaining, Fuzz could tie the Lbs on points at 14, but Lbs won both of the regular season matchups, clinching the first tiebreaker. Therefore, Fuzz are mathematically demoted to the second division for the 2026 BTSH season.

Division Two

Every team in this division has something to play for the rest of the way. There’s a three-way race for promotion to Division One between Fresh Kills (25 points), Poutine Machine (24), and Gouging Anklebiters (21). It’s worth noting that Anklebiters have four games remaining.

Both Fresh Kills and Anklebiters can max out at 29 points, making today’s 5:00 pm East Court matchup between the two teams monumental. The winner will control their own destiny. Poutine can only watch and hope to avoid a three-point overtime match.

Filthier (14) and Hookers (12) will be duking it out to remain in Division Two. Hookers have a game in hand and thus both teams have the capacity to reach 20 points. Depending on how the next two weeks play out, there is a potential scenario in which Hookers and Filthier meet up on October 5th for an electric final regular season game that single-handedly determines which team survives the bubble.

Division Three

Division Three has been a gauntlet for much of the season but Sky Fighters have tapered off. Even if they win out and achieve 24 points, at least one of Renaissance or Instant Karma is guaranteed 25.

So it does come down to the Karma and Rens. Conveniently, these two play each other today at 2:30 pm and the result has massive implications. A Karma regulation win would certify a division title. On the other hand, a Rens win would put them either one point ahead or tied with Karma and also lock in the first tiebreaker. A win vs Riots next week would then clinch the division for Renaissance.

Gremlins and Rainbows are deadlocked at 10 points at the bottom of the division with two games remaining each. Though each has beaten the other this season, only Rainbows won theirs in regulation, giving them the tiebreaker edge. Gremlins will need to finish one point higher than Rainbows at the end of the season in order to avoid relegation.

Division Four

Denim Demons clinched the division title in August and there is no relegation from Division Four. Their remaining games could have a big impact on playoff seeding. Currently fourth in the overall standings by points percentage, they have clinched a bye from the play-in round. In fact, there is an improbable scenario in which the Demons could finish first in the entire league:

– Demons win against Riots and Rainbows
– Vertz lose remaining three games in regulation
– Mega Touch lose at least once in regulation vs Lbs and Poutine or lose both games in any fashion.

Moby Dekes (9) are one point ahead of What The Puck (8) with two games remaining for each. A second-place finish for either team would speak to a nice comeback season after finishing in the bottom-two of the league standings in 2024.

*NOTE: The winner of the BTSH Championship is automatically promoted (or, in Division One, retains its place). All promotions/relegations are subject to that exception.*

With roughly one-third of the BTSH season completed, enough games have taken place for trends to reveal themselves and narratives to take hold. BTSH Commissioner and Demons Captain Adam Herman chimes in with seven critical takeaways from the start to the season.

7. Cobra Kai Goaltending Controversy

On paper, Campbell and Sonj may be the best goaltending tandem in organized hockey since Ed Belfour and Dominik Hašek shared the Chicago Blackhawks’ crease in the early 90s. Either would be the best netminder on most BTSH teams and they are one of the few teams who can endure a goaltender absence without then having to figure out wherever Cam is or ask Chris Caron to play his 5th game of the day. Only one goalie can play at a time, however, and Cobra Kai will have to pick one for elimination playoff games.

The early returns indicate that this is Sonj’s job to lose. She’s holding a 0.50 GA/G average after two locked-in performances against Fuzz and Hookers. Meanwhile, Campbell’s 4.33 GA/G shockingly puts him among the league’s worst. To the surprise of many, the literal professional goaltender might be better at this than a Computer Boy who somehow ended up in the crease one day and accidentally became good.

The Blackhawks ended up trading Hasek for scraps despite how much better he was than Belfour. As captain of Cobra Kai, Campbell may be tempted into making a similar decision. GMs around the league are wondering if Russ will be able to keep the locker room from reaching a boiling point by reciting timely quotes from the Tao Te Ching.

 6. Skyfighters’ Shua: Rookie of the Year?

The story of the Skyfighters the last few seasons has been this: They’re one of the deepest teams in BTSH and can be competitive in any given matchup, but they’ve lacked the individual difference makers to take them to the next level. That may be changing.

The surprise story for Skyfighters has been Shua.  Currently, he sits second on the leaderboard by goals scored, with 11 through seven games. Shua’s most noteworthy performance was his hat-trick against Lbs — his second of the season — that put Skyfighters over the top against their D1 opponent.

Shua, whose full name is Joshua Friedman, paints and aspires to be a stand-up comedian. And he let us in on a surprising revelation; he has never met another Joshua Friedman before in his life.

BTSH reached out to Yehuda Weinbach to find out how this could be possible and whether he knew any other Joshua Friedman’s.

“I had a Rabbi named Josh Friedman,” Weinbach claimed. 

After further research into the archives, Weinbach confirmed that his brother also knows a different Josh Friedman and then, while attempting to locate Shua, accidentally stumbled upon a fourth Josh Friedman who coincidentally played hockey with Jo Robin.

Skyfighter captain Jake Kolenberg is happy with Shua’s breakout season but admitted he’s worried that other teams may be catching on.

“Rich, stay away from him,” Kolenberg asserted.

5. Lee Leaves for DC

When celebrating athletes, people often like to say that that person is a “great player and even better person.”

We can certainly proclaim Lee as a better person, given that the last goal I remember him scoring was two years ago, after which he attempted to do the John Cena “you can’t see me” gesture in my face and then immediately tripped over his own feet and fell to the blacktop.

Lee also once sniped Campbell short side like 5 years ago and we can’t prove that it didn’t start a domino effect that led to Campbell’s lost self-confidence that has his starting job with Cobra Kai in danger.

A member of BTSH and the Corlears Hookers since 2016, Lee undertook many roles in BTSH. His most notable contribution came as board member in 2023 and 2024, when he famously became BFFs with the NYC Parks Department. New members of the league won’t know this but we used to rely on the least artistic people imaginable to draw awkward looking creases on every Sunday. Somehow, Lee convinced Parks to permanently paint all of our lines onto the court with uniform dimensions.

His departure to DC means the league will have to find someone else to break everyone’s eardrums yelling about the semantics of the high-ball rule while wearing a fanny pack. 

4. Are the Demons for Real?

The Denim Demons have started the season 6-1 and currently sit third in the overall standings; fifth by points percentage. However, many are wondering just how legitimate that early success is. To be fair, they have cannibalized Div 4 opponents. That won’t matter for playoff seeding but let the record show Demons leadership submitted a proposal to balance playoff seeding but were voted down.

The Demons will have to embark on the rest of the season without arguably the league’s best goal scorer in Alex Giummo. Giummo, with 12 goals in 5 games, earned the nickname “Tree Trunks” at the courts for having thighs that are wider than Luca Vellon’s entire body. 

He is squatting his way to San Diego and the Demons will have to diversify their scoring in order to compensate for the loss of elite talent. Sources indicate that the team is cautiously optimistic that Matt Bramson, who manages to score a hat-trick in D5 every other game, will find a way to have one or two finally bounce off his shin or something in BTSH.

Ironically, the Demons’ biggest statement game of the season may be their sole loss; a tight battle against Vertz in which Giummo and other critical players were not present. And in a league in which quality (or available) goaltending can be hard to come by, Dan Ridzik has been a separating factor so far this season. The Demons seem headed for promotion to Division 3 but they have work to do in order to convince others they’re a legitimate playoff threat. Members of the organization also indicated that locker room morale has improved now that the team no longer employs 8 different players who take a bunch of penalties every game.

Perhaps the best part of the Demons’ ascension? Almost the entire team has been built out of free agent pickups. It’s proof that there are good players to be had if teams are willing to cast a wide net and give unknown people a chance.

3. Lbs Rebuild

After a multi-year run in which the Lbs were the team to beat in BTSH, winning the Cup in 2023 and finishing first in the league in 2024, the organization finds itself still recovering from a mass offseason exodus. Tom Fitz, Frankie, Cherie, and Rose departed for new opportunities in BTSH while the likes of Sam Feder and Jake Chaplin left the city. In a salary cap league, you can’t keep the core around forever. It seems that too many critical pieces of the Lbs puzzle priced themselves out of the organization. Or maybe just out of NYC rent requirements.

Frey has taken a slow approach to replenishing the roster, trying out a host of free agents rather than the usual BTSH strategy of poaching from lesser teams.

The team has instead employed its usual strategy of utilizing D5 in-roads to feed elite players into the Lbs pipeline. The latest recruit is Craig, who played DIII and looks to be a promising player, having already scored in his debut. The Spectors can also go full Sedin Twins and carry the team during this time of treading water. 

Sources tell BTSH Media that, in spite of the impending relegation battle, Lbs have no intentions of committing to a rebuild nor of changing their name to the Ounces. They do recognize a need to replenish the ranks with a long-term vision and have set their sights on a certain internal solution; Baby Zisser, whom the team expects to be BTSH-ready by April 2043 and Gem Saloon-ready by August 2046.

“When it comes to beer pong, Zisser is among the worst players in American history and at times an affront to the sport as a whole. Hopefully the beer pong genes will come from the mother’s side,” captain Frey said.

2. The Weather

The BTSH regular season has been live for 12 weeks and yet teams have only played seven games. If they’re lucky. Timing for certain holidays hasn’t helped but the main culprit has been the weather. I think we’ve only played two Sundays so far in which games weren’t ever in question.

Adding the problem? The uncertainty. A lengthy downpour makes cancellation easy, while clear skies leave nothing in doubt. Instead, we’ve consistently received 50/50 forecasts that have made us wait as long as possible to make decisions, with all captains agreeing with the Commissioners every single time. I think Probie has spent more time begging captains to not force him to drive into the city than he has actually playing hockey this season.

Of course, last Sunday we saw no rain but were instead hit with an insane heatwave. We’ve already used up both rain makeup slots and have games to spare. It’s an anticlimactic start to the season and I am pleading with the rain gods to let us go a full month without my having to monitor the forecasts every 5 minutes with the same intensity as JFK watching a NASA launch.

1. ConVertzion to Contenders?

Heading into the 2025 BTSH season, most people saw Mega Touch and Poutine, in some order, as the top-two teams to beat. Not many put the Vertz in that category. That includes the Vertz’ own Minsky, who published personal pre-season rankings in which he listed a bunch of players like it was a Magic Johnson tweet.

The Vertz have started the season 6-0-0 despite a tough schedule including teams like Fuzz, Cobra Kai, and Anklebiters.

The secret to success? The quiet offseason recruitment of approximately 28 former college hockey players. This team is so stacked with talent that Captain Brian Hicks has benched himself in close games. They send out five-player units who look like they’ve practiced organized breakouts and all of them are shooting threats. 

Arguably the best recruit so far has been Uri Lurie, who has six goals through four games despite spending time on defense. A source confirmed that “Uri Lurie” does rhyme but that he has no past or current associations with Dr. Seuss.

The downside is that none of them seem to understand the league’s stickchecking rules. 

Hicks is celebrating the fruits of his offseason but shot down concerns that a group of highly qualified hockey players were having any trouble adapting to having to share a bench with Matt Russo.

“Given the team’s lack of post season success, we felt it necessary to get younger this offseason,” Hicks remarked. “Russo has been a great veteran presence in helping the new members acclimate to the bright lights of BTSH while teaching them his patented stick-behind-the-back move to avoid over/under stick penalties.”

The top-two in BTSH should probably be expanded to include Vertz. And with Tim K in net, goaltending could end up being the difference deep into the playoffs.

It’s hard to believe but we are almost 2 months into the season, though we’ve only played 3 games due to various holidays and rainouts. Perhaps it’s too early to begin throwing out arbitrary rankings based on little more than anecdotal observations and goal tallies, but we at BTSH media like to live on the edge.

All rankings and blurbs are the opinions of the writers and do not reflect the endorsement of the league’s leadership

1) The Vertz Newcomers (Vertz)
Thanks to the recruiting handiwork of newly awarded “A” Carly Bullock-Argue, the Vertz are flush with young blood in Kate Monihan, Daniella Calabrese, Daniel Sorabella, and Go Uemura. Kate and Daniella have been representing the Vertz as some of the league’s top scorers, while Danny and Go have been dominating opponents with their speed and talent.

2) Alexander Giummo (Denim Demons)
Another Williams alum like Danny and Go, Alex is a product of the free agent scrimmage, niftily picked up by commissioner and Demon’s GM Adam Herman. Though having only played one game so far, he had a hat trick in his debut, and is no doubt primed for a breakout year.

3) Sophia Lattanzio (Renaissance/Dark Rainbows)
Without a question, Sophia is one of the most versatile players in the league. She has been a force to be reckoned with for two teams, as a skater for the Ren’s and the Rainbow’s backstop.

4) Nick Klaponski (Dark Rainbows)
Nick has been a difference-maker for the Rainbows, having scored half of the team’s goals this season.

5) Joshua Friedman (Sky Fighers) 
A product of the Yeshiva league hockey circuit, Josh has made an immediate impact as the Fighter’s top scorer and go-to offenseman.

—BTSH Media Editorial Board

All games for today (May 4th) are canceled. In the meantime, please make sure you have set up your new BTSH website account and have also practiced filling out attendance. When we return to action on May 18th, all attendance will run exclusively through the website.

Welcome to the “Top 10”
A new feature for the 2025 season!
The media team will periodically release power rankings of the top 10 teams, regardless of division, and highlight the players and storylines that make these squads the league’s best.
All rankings and blurbs are the opinions of the writers and do not reflect the endorsement of the league’s leadership

1) Poutine Machine: No one had a better offseason than the Poutine Machine himself, Mikey Maron. Despite an already strong roster consisting of one of last season’s leading scorers in Alex Morin, talented forwards Ken Culbertson and Michael Pagliuco, and top goaltender Jeff Green, The Machines managed to snag Tom Fitzgerald, Rose Alleva, Jo Robin, Sam Gelman, and Mel Waller. This is a scary team with tons of top end talent and very few weak points. Despite being in the second division, this is the team to beat this season

2) Mega Touch: Last year’s runner up finished in the top two for a reason- this team is loaded. Adding Cherie Stewart to the mix will only solidify the league’s best roster of women, which also include Courtney Pensavalle, Shelly Picard, Tash Rachlin, and Julie Katz, as will adding returning veteran Amit Sidhu, fresh off the boat from DC. The deep roster, coupled with Michael Tuckman’s consistency in net will make this team a tough out, even in their new division one pool

3) Cobra Kai: Another strong team from last season destined only to improve after their successful offseason. Despite already possessing one of the best goaltenders in the game in Campbell Weaver, the Kai’s somehow added another incredible goalkeeper named Sonjia Shelly. Tom McGuire is expected to continue his scoring dominance, while Brita Loeb’s departure should be filled by the wealth of female riches that KG Groglio, Madison Lehan, Elizabeth Guy, and Amanda Fazio provide. New addition Lucas Scocchia will certainly help bolster the defense as well.

4) Vertz: In spite of an early exit last season and some notable departures over the offseason, this is still a strong team with very few weak spots. Last season’s #2 ranked goaltender Timmy Kayiatos will give this team a huge advantage between the pipes, and top goalscorers Aryeh Minsky and Brian Hicks should provide plenty of offensive punch, while Carly Bullock continues to produce as a one of the best females in the league, not just on the court, but off as well, where she has apparently been working the phones all winter to bring in some serious talent. Keep an eye on this squad for some ROY candidates.

5) Fuzz: It’s certainly odd to rank the defending champions so low, but this team lost a few pieces over the offseason, including Jo Robin, Sonjia Shelly, Sam Gelman, and Amanda Fazio. Still, any team with Jeff Laniado, Miles Hilder, Scott Storer, and Zac Hogg will be hard to count out. Throw in newcomer Michael Teytelbaum and the Jersey boys have plenty of elite talent, the question only comes down to attendance.

6) Lbs: Few teams lost as many top players this offseason as the Pounders, but this team was so ridiculously stacked that they should have no problem competing, though I’m not sure they’ll win 14 games again this season. With Michael Zisser at the goaltending helm and Alex Frey back from the IR, the core remains strong, and never count out their GMs ability to replenish the pipeline.

7) Gouging Anklebiters: Another behemoth of a roster, this team includes last season’s top female scorer in Sarah Moore, last season’s top goaltender in Craig LaCombe, and another top three scorer in Jeffrey O’Connell. With Ben Probert and newly engaged Jack McGinty joining poached defenceman Simon Desjardins, this is another strong and well rounded team, at least until they all start moving away.

8) Fresh Kills: A solid team last season that dealt with their share of attendance and injury issues, it looks like most of this squad will be running it back, albeit in division two. No doubt they’re well rounded and have a strong female element lead by Brooke Gary and anchored by Caleb Wells and Ariel Imas, but with division two looking more competitive than division one this season, and Corey Blay’s health a question mark, they might once again have a challenging year.

9) Renaissance: After rolling through division four in their inaugural season, the young guns are primed to make another run this year after bringing in the milkman Joe Fusco and poaching defender turned goaltender Alexander Katsihtis. With their already strong roster including leading scorers Ryan Levine and Yehuda Weinbach, USA ball hockey legend Emma Seitz, star D man Peter Guiffre, and now solidified goaltending, this is a dangerous team with some potent chemistry.

10) Corlears Hookers: This was a fun bunch to watch last season, and not just because they had 45 players show up for every single one of their games. A deep team with scoring, defense, and great goaltending lead by Jacob Green, the captain triumvirate of Cheeky/Lee/Dylan (no idea why they’re the only team with C’s on the website) seems to be bringing back the same roster this year plus a few more, hopefully with the same sky high level of vibes.

– BTSH Media Editorial Board