btsh.org

Notable mentions from Week 3.

Lesson No. 41 in Social Media Etiquette: Timely acceptance of Facebook friend requests
By Jamie B.

To Confirm or To Delete Request?

Hours before the Gremlins vs WTP contest, Justin M. from WTP approached Jamie B. of the Gremlins and said, “Hey, you haven’t accepted my Facebook friend request yet. Because of that, I’m going to score on you today!” Startled, Jamie replied with, “Hmmm, what if I accepted your request sometime before our game?” Stumped, Justin decided that this would be acceptable and so Jamie would have nothing to worry about. No scoring from Justin. Well, Jamie ‘had’ the intentions of logging in and confirming it, but sadly he ‘forgot.’ Sure enough, fully enraged with the sense of rejection, Justin scored the first goal of the game by driving to net and firing right at Jamie’s head, ricocheting past the goal line (the ball, not Jamie’s head). An important lesson on media etiquette was taught.

Gunnar of Mega Touch Rocks the Raspberry
By Rachel G.

Mr. McGee would be proud.

Every once and a while, for a really big, really important (or just any old) game, Mega Touch chooses their amazing alternate jersey, the Raspberry. Don’t think this is any old pink. It’s RASPBERRY. Please also note Alex E.M.’s very specific finger placement. And nobody wears this hue better than Gung. Does she have an entire closet dedicated to this game? Did you see the sweater leg warmers? Unfortunately we had a mediocre photographer, so you might not see that her sneakers are actually Raspberry and orange, perfectly coordinated with the shirt. Not only did she look amazing, she then went out on the court and shut-it-DOWN, in pink…erm…Raspberry.

Pitching In: Week 3 Opening Crew
By Isaac S. (inspired by Newman)

There’s no ‘I’ in teamwork.

As the early game teams arrived at the courts on Sunday a sharp and jagged discovery was made at the south end of the East Court. No, it wasn’t human waste this time from the TSP locals; it was shards of broken glass from a Bud Light Lime bottle. To echo Newman’s appreciation FB post, a big Thank You to Brian C., Hornswaggle, Derek T. (for supervising), Tim B., Mike M., Adam R., and Dana K. for borrowing brooms and dust pans from the NYC Parks Dept. to clean up the mess. Despite the potential set back the 1 pm games were able to start on time thanks to them.

Wait, its oddly suspicious that late-Dana, I’ll get there when I get there-Dana, what you think you are better than me-Dana was the first one to the courts. Let’s back up to Saturday night…

We should really do this again sometime.

The evening was clear and full of possibilities, and as Dana K. stumbled out of an East Village pub and into the brisk evening air she was feeling a little giddy. Close enough to the league courts she decided to pay them a visit to envision her team continuing their success in the next game. Stopping by a local bodega along the way to lift a bottle of beer it was becoming clear which direction her choices were headed. Twisting the cap off and proceeding to chug her five-finger-discount her joy quickly turned to revulsion as she found out it was a Bud Light Lime. Enraged by its repugnant taste, she channeled her inner Sam Norris and launched the vessel of low-level American capitalism hundreds of feet into the air. The booming noise it made when landing shocked the locals and caused the slumbering TSP Gods to stir in their rest – thus resulting in bad fortune for Dana’s next visit at the Park.

The next day Dana’s team lost their first game and she left with a protruding souvenir.

The moral of the story is that only Sam Norris can get away with being Sam Norris.  

Honorable Mention: The Year of the BTSH Lady
Last week (2, not 3) was another first goal for a league lady. Sarah H. of Fresh Kills has been going to war for 5 years and last week she banged home her first goal. This week (3, not 2) she followed it up with another from in front of the net and shows no signs of slowing down.

Congrats to both her and Rachel for notching their first career goals in 2016.

Note to League: the ladies are hungry and this could be their year.

The media team has been working around the clock to finalize the renaming of the Conferences and Divisions for this season, but with so many amazing players to choose from we are going to need some help.  More details will be available soon …

Our scientific selection method hard at work.

We can’t end this post without addressing the gaffe from Monday:

That evening at the media clubhouse, a brawl ensued over the last slice of pizza while reviewing footage from the Fresh Kills vs Dark Rainbows match.  Already enraged by the terrible way the refs were handling the game, we instantly turned on each other and declared that the slice was mine, mine, MINE.   It was pandemonium.  Rachel had Rich in sleeper hold, Rich had me a figure-four-leg-lock, I was viciously chomping down on Dana’s digits, Dana had one foot on the side of my face and the other in Diana’s back while Diana was attempting to execute a DDT on Rachel.  There was no end in sight.

Yeah, this about sums it up.

All the while Sam, Mira, Ben and Julie were laughing at us from the newly installed bar just as Perko walked through the door. ‘What the fuzz is going on here?  This isn’t what I signed up for.’  And walked back out.

Meanwhile during this calamity, the website’s A.I. (that a talented league programmer created) had been monitoring our sad display of resolution via webcam and calculated that no decision would be satisfactory.  Searching the vast inter-webs at high computing speeds for suitable titles it found a possible answer that would please its creator and an erroneous change was made. 

The mini royal rumble that was still going on was suddenly interrupted by a distress signal from $h0wT!m3 through the league Facebook page.  Once we were made awares by the dreadful choice the A.I. had made, Rachel quickly acted by snatching the last slice from Ben’s grubby mitts and feeding it into the server.  Thus resulting in the program resetting itself to 9 hours earlier.  (How?  I don’t know. Don’t ask me specifics.  The side of my face still hurts.)

Temporary crisis averted.  Phew!

The point we are trying to make is that computers are not smarter than humans.  Man has been resolving their differences through logic and open dialogue for centuries.  

Stay tuned for more info!

Week 3 is in the books and if this was the NFL, it would be a very pivotal week as the undefeated teams would be almost a lock to make the playoffs, and the winless team would have an almost impossible road ahead. But since all you have to do in BTSH, is pay your league fees to make the postseason, Week 3 isn’t really all that important. With that motivational speech behind us, lets get to the 3 Stars!  

Both the Flyers and Gut Rot are 0-3. At least the Flyers have classy fans. If Gut Rot goes to 0-4, there maybe riots on the courts of Tompkins.

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