btsh.org

These Previews were written for your pleasure by Rachel G. with guest Diana M., and, edited by Byron C.  Enjoy.

Anklebiters at Hookers

Noelle and the Hookers are proud to be purple for this legendary icon.

Who doesn’t love an underdog? In particular, a drunk under(puppy)dog. We watched Joe get robbed by Jamie when filling in for Karma, but now maybe it’s time he buries that shot. Speaking of buried, Craig has Eitel’s number, but maybe he should use that to call him and see if he is ever going to show up. Hookers lost a tough one last week, and Brian is on a streak, tied for fourth on the leader-board…but really, who wants to watch him celebrate, again

Hookers by 1, wear that purple proud this week.

Cobra Kai at WTP

Don’t let Cobra Kai’s record fool you, these guys excel at sneaker hockey. But WTP has been sneakily impressive, taking it to previously-known-as-Greene division rivals last week. I think they were without their star player, Camden. BTSH, have you met Doug? Well Coach sure did last week. He’s like their secret weapon in a backwards hat. No, this is not a frat party, Doug.

Cobra Kai by 2, if they all show up.

Karma at Rehabs
I don’t want to jinx anything here by using too many words, but it sure doesn’t seem like Karma has been losing games very much. Alfred is quick to point out that their goal differential sucks, and that is clearly more important. Karma’s a b*tch: the Rehabs swooped down and stole one of the best goalies from previously-known-as $h0wT!m3 Division, Ryann from Karma and all the free agents from moffo, but still couldn’t manage to beat the party happy ‘biters last week.

Karma by 1, Karma strikes again.

Mega at TSR
This was a tight week 1 match-up, with Tompkin’s Square Riot’s eeking out the win. Mega seems to be gelling as the season moves on. Is it Julie’s super-informative, video-tutorial-filled e-mails on positioning? I highly doubt it, I’m sure they tuned her out after the first sentence about candy. Dave Gil de Rubio (I got it right), doesn’t have Gilligan to deal with this week, but can Spencer and BR hold it down on defense to help him keep Adriano at bay? Important update: Mega Touch’s Jorts tradition is being challenged by the Riot’s Max’s Jam shorts.

Mega by 1, Gung is fabulous, even in grey.

Fuzz vs Sky Fighters

Somebody better wake up by game time.

Here are two teams that don’t take games seriously at all. We all know where the Fuzz recruits come from, but what about oh-so-smiley Sky Fighters? Congrats for recruiting outside the league. Now we can call off the search for Amelia Earhart. This will be a tight match up, when Roman and his brother show up, there may be less smiles but more goals. At least Sarah T has a lovely smile. Can the Gil/Laniado line been living up to it’s glory? Really, Jeff..an empty netter? Wake up.

Fuzz by 1, Glanzer -2

Hero.

Poutine Machine at Butchers

By Diana M., Cheekbones Extraordinaire

The Butchers take on Poutine Machine this coming Sunday at 3pm.
The Butchers hack up some Canadian traditionalists? Will Poutine ride the gravy train right through the Butchers? Since Poutine is softening its image in a Trump fashion, it’s a tough one to call. Jerome might beat the Butchers in speed, but Dana spent last week sweeping up broken Bud Light Lime glass so she might have some pent up rage to unleash on the courts. “It’s the LIME part that really chaps my ass,” said Dana, shaking her head.

The Butchers ride Rachel’s scoring wave over Joanne and the Poutine Machines 3-1. Desolée.

Fresh Kills vs Lbs

Oh Tommy, only the straightest of men.

I wanted to take a minute to talk about Tommy’s overt masculinity and his very apparent love of the fairer sex. In case it’s ever called into question, I think we can count on Craig LaCombe’s private photo vault(as seen above). OK, back to business…this is going to be a really, really good game. Hobart: it’s about time, girl. Insider tip: If you ever want to know what Soko and Ariel are yelling to each other in Russian, I finally cracked the code: I’m open.

Kills by 1, Gabe is back.

Dark Rainbows at Filthier

Ann’s better halves.

Wow, who made this schedule? Poor Rainbows, when will they catch a break? They fought valiantly against the Kills last week and they are rewarded by playing Filthy? Not cool. They should be nervous though, because Ann is back this weekend. Dennis, thanks for filling in as the main goal scorer, but you can sit down now. Or Tia will make you.

Filthier by 4, Ann with the game winner

Gremlins at Math
Can I make a joke about JW’s +/- being bad Math? It’s too easy. But the Math in this game will be clear, while the Gremlins added some talent in the post-season, Math is too stacked to handle. With Dave Liang injured, they just went ahead and got Kevin Au to fill in? Geez. This will be a goalie duel, low scoring, but definitely fun to watch. Match up to watch: Eric Graham against (fill in the blank) Norris. For the record, I f—-in’ love Caitlin.

Math by 2, Sam’s headband.

Gut Rot at Demons
Gilligan is so obedient. If only everyone scored goals (or did anything at all) when I asked them. Gut Rot represents the true heart of BTSH. Peaches still wears jeans. Ellery still puts his shirt of his head and smacks you in the face while yelling Mejico. Veronica still runs around in a bikini top (sigh, just in LA now). Diane still gives amazing hugs(sign up here). This is a team that remembers what sunday sneaker hockey is all about. Fun. Does your team take players who don’t have experience (only answer this if you are ‘Biters, Mega or can actually prove me wrong)? Or is your team pretty much a farm team for the mega-teams everyone hates (me)? Also they love gay people, I swear, just ask. Demons will put out 3 girls, 2 guys, and a goalie. So I’m told.

Gut Rot by 2, Gilly is at it again