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***25th Entrant: Adam Rubens, Denim Demons***

Much like his teammate Jenn, Rubens is taunted mercilessly by the fans as he walks down the aisle. Rubens walks into the ring and notices Alex reffing. He starts complaining that Alex isn’t a fair ref. He picks up the mic and calls out League Commissioner Tim Brown. Rubens tells Tim that Lena doesn’t feel safe with Alex reffing. Tim, still hurting from the Bodyslam by Brügger©, is in no mood and reminds Adam that Lena isn’t in the Rumble. Adam says maybe she’s the surprise entrant but Tim tells him Becky Norris is the surprise entrant.  Brügger is infuriated there was no spoiler alert and picks Tim back into the ring. Marisa sees Tim and swoons. She never thought she would get over Denis but now she has. Brügger tosses Tim out of the ring. Marisa goes into a corner to write in her diary, wondering if she will ever find love again.

***Tim Brown is eliminated (again)***

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***20th Entrant: Corey Winters, What The Puck***

The crowd cannot believe it as Corey enters. All the fighting stops as the Most Respected Man in BTSH picks up the mic.  He looks around sadly as his Canadian and American friends continue to bloody each other.  The fighting stops, and Winters finally begins to speak, “I came here tonight, and I didn’t know what to expect.  I seen a lot of people hate each other, and I didn’t know what to feel about that…  In here, there were a bunch of guys killing each other, but I guess that’s better than 20 million. I guess what I’m trying to say, is that if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!”  The crowd bursts into applause as he finishes speaking.  The fighters all have tears in their eyes and go in for a massive embrace in the middle of the ring.

However, it is in this instant that Julie, Jenna, Cherie and Jenn all nod at each other and combine to throw Olivier out of the ring.  Corey’s speech destroyed the Canadian movement and has given rise to a new, more powerful group: GIRL POWER!

***Olivier Brassard has been eliminated***

Olivier’s elimination is a dark moment for Canada…so sad, in fact, that Josh-Sadlier Brown flees from ringside openly weeping for his fallen brethren.  Olivier meant the world to him, and he vows revenge on the ladies.

***11th Entrant: Jerome “Hornswoggle” Ramos, Happy Little Poutine Machine***

The crowd is hot as the Canadians are dominating the Americans. All of a sudden Jerome’s music hits. All of the wrestlers stop fighting and stare at Jerome, who is carrying a mini Philippine flag. After a few seconds of bewilderment at what to do, the Canadians start fighting the Americans again, but Jerome’s distraction, combined with “the damned numbers game,” allows the Americans to take control.

***Stephanie Cooper runs to ringside with a Molson Beer***

Cooper has a Molson!

Welcome to the first ever BTSH Royal Rumble!!!  Here’s how it works…40* members of the #BTSHUniverse (two from each team) will compete in this match, in which the object is to eliminate your opponents by throwing them over the top rope.  We will start with two randomly selected competitors, and every two minutes, another randomly selected combatant will enter the match.  The last person standing in the ring is the winner.  And, of course, to make sure everybody plays by the rules, and things are on the up and up, Mega Touch’s Alex Eben Meyer and the Dark Rainbows’ Aaron Friedman will officiate the match.

*Due to some finagling by the Mathematics (namely that half this article is being written by one of them), Rebecca Norris has been entered as the 41st participant.

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