YES! YES! YES! Elves vs. Math Week!!!
October 12th, 2014
Great news! The Elves play Math so that means everyone wins. No one wants to hear about the other 6 teams still in or the 12 teams out…so this week we will focus exclusively on the Elves vs. Math.
But that can get boring so we will sprinkle in some wrestling pictures for your entertainment!
But wait…there’s more!
Butchers at Cobra Kai
October 11th, 2014Before we dive into this game, let’s take a minute to see how Cobra Kai rookie Sebastian’s BTSH playoff bracket picks are doing. Riots over Poutine Machine…uh oh! Mega Touch over Gremlins…yikes! Gut Rot over Dark Rainbows…really?! Filthy Gorgeous over What The Puck…are you kidd–oh wait, he got that one right. Whew, we’re glad you didn’t go O-fer the opening weekend there Sebastian.
Come on Sebastian…even President Obama had the Gremlins beating Mega Touch.
The Butchers have never lost in the Round of 16, going a perfect 4-0 since joining the league. This includes 2010, when they recovered to knock off the #2 seed Rehabs in an overtime thriller after giving up a late game-tying goal. And 2012, when Fresh Kills’ Patrick Barch filled in as a last minute emergency replacement in goal and led the Butchers to a 1-0 shutout of the Elves. And last year, when Creamy made Craig get all boo-boo face in the shootout, causing him to throw shit really, really high and really, really far.
Cobra Kai, on the other hand, has never won in the Round of 16. Some years, they didn’t even make it to the Round of 16. Not only are they in it this year, but they also have a feather in their proverbial cap in the form of a 5-4 head-to-head win from earlier in the year. However, the Butchers always find a way to get through this weekend, and we think they keep that streak going with a hard fought 3-2 win.
Gremlins at Fresh Kills
October 11th, 2014
JW, you’re going to have to block even more shots than usual to keep this one close.
Also, you’re going to have to screen Jamie less than usual.
This photo needs no explanation.
Stop looking so smug, Fresh Kills. No need to rub it in that you’ve got this one in the bag.
Seriously though, Fresh Kills are one of the nicest teams. Love you peeps. Hug it out.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CdJTfGiRCl
I still haven’t decided whether or not it’s unethical to write your own team’s game preview. (spoiler alert: it is.)
Poutine Machine at Happy Little Elves
October 10th, 2014
Ladies and gentleman, Dr. Byron Clavicle.
Rich, currently on his home computer writing the Rehabs/Math preview that i asked him for. (oh, yeah, i meant to ask you to write that)
It’s ok Marcus, don’t cry, there’s always next year.
(i wanted a photo of Jo-Ann to use for Poutine’s photo, but i couldnt find one. Then again, i didnt look very hard.)
Here is the thing: elves are imaginary creatures. But, poutine is real (ALL TOO real). And everyone knows there is no limit to what an imagination can do.
Therefore, in conjunction with this logic: Elves win, 3-1.
Oh, also, Chadwick scores one, as he has the hot hand lately. He scored his first goal of the season in the last game of the season, ya heard? (Of course you heard, because he won’t stop talking about it.)
Actually, Chadwick won’t even be at the game this week. (Dammit, that means it’s my turn to bring limes)
Rich: How is this preview?? haha. I was going to make it EVEN lazier, and even MORE obvious that i just wanted to get it over with, but then i wanted to give a shout out to Chadwick.
Dark Rainbows at Corlears Hookers
October 10th, 2014
That belt is probably about the only prize the Rainbows are walking away with on Sunday.
If the Hookers all show up sluggish from eating a ton of McDonald’s in the last week, the Rainbows may just have a shot at pulling off what would be a huge upset in this opening round match-up.
I am kidding – the Hookers would win this one if they all ate 3 combo meals each, 10 minutes before the game, while huffing paint. Sorry, Rainbows.
– JW
