btsh.org

By The Person Writing the Three Stars

There was lot to consider this week for the 3 stars – the friendly butterfly, several impressive shootout winning goals (Justin from WTP and Avery from Pounds), Scotty K’s first game back, free-agent goalie Max who stepped in for 3.1 games, glitter, beer funnels and more, as it typically goes with most BTSH Sundays…

Third Star

LJ’s goal to put Cobra Kai ahead of Fresh Kills.

Second Star

Karma and Sky Fighters, who brought a piñata full of booze and let people shoot at it.

First Star

Hogg (WTP) for stepping in net and producing a shutout through OT and a shootout.

Honorable Mention

Max Power’s ridiculous glove save. (see facebook for the video)

By Mia

At the End of Season party last year, a very enthusiastic Sus from the Tompkins Square Riots demanded that a new category be added to the evening’s awards. This resulted in recognition of the first ever BTSH GAY OF THE YEAR (GOTY)!

A rather lengthy list of names was put into the hat, but it soon became apparent that —to the best of anyone’s knowledge— there were no out gay men in the league (just a lot of guys who are a little gay for Isaac).

So, all of the nominees were lesbians.

Someone cried, “This is basically just a list of the best female players in the league!” True story.

Read the rest of this entry »

The LBS beat the Rehabs 2-1 in a controversial shootout.

A week after a big first win of the season, Gut Rot fell to Mega this time around.

Karma beat the Sky Fighters, with the Trembles supplying the beer funnels (and the sexiness) for everyone.

Cobra Kai beat the Fresh Kills 2-0 on an LJ regulation goal and an empty netter.

The Biters were up 3-1 with 12 minutes left but dropped a 5-3 decision to the Hookers.

The Demons figured out the best way to avoid losing in a shootout is to just win in regulation, edging the Rainbows out by a goal or two.

The Cheekybowl was won by Cheeky as she and the Butchers took down Math. At least Tadpole got a new hat out of the deal.

The Gremlins beat the Riots in regulation.

Filthier beat Fuzz as the championship hangover continues for the boys and girls in blue.

Finally, after an incredible moment in Instagram history was shockingly called no goal, What The Puck had the last laugh on their old D4 rivals as they took down Poutine 1-0 in a shootout.

See ya in two weeks!

By The Meatbox and Richiepoothang

Hicks:  In honor of debate season kicking off, it only seems appropriate to revisit one of the pivotal movements of our time. A movement that is undoubtedly the cornerstone upon which the 2020 election shall be built.

It was Spring a few years ago. I’d try to get the actual date, but people aren’t answering my texts.

Glanzer: People are jerks.

Hicks: Some more that others for sure. You know who nobody thinks is a jerk? Probie. I think it’s because he scores a lot of goals. So much so that in spring a few years ago it caught the eye of a new guy in town who had just moved to the big city from Boise, Idaho. I’ll give you one guess who this is.

Glanzer: Is Idaho another word for Iowa? Because I’m going to guess Sarah T. if it is.

Hicks: Well, you got the first letter right. But no, Idaho is its own state.

Glanzer: You sure seem to know a lot about stuff you normally don’t know a lot about. Is this Walker?

Hicks: “Ha.” Apparently they don’t even have ball hockey there which I guess explains some things. But in this story, our protagonist is none other than Lee Becker. Young Lee was looking for some ball hockey to play. One day he stumbled upon Tompkins Square Park and he witnessed Ben Probert doing Probert things (ie scoring multiple goals to the point his own team boos him).

Read the rest of this entry »

Denim Demons at Dark Rainbows

By Cheeky

Alright BTSH Community, I am writing this from my work computer so it will obviously be both PG and PC because at Credit Suisse, Big Brother is watching you.

** For the remainder of this article please read this in an announcer voice click here for point of reference **

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Welcome to today’s Yin and Yang, Black & White Cookie smash up matchup between the Denim Demons and the Dark Rainbows.

On one side we have your Wannabe League Sweethearts, the Dust Buster Disasters, your Rabbi’s of the Yeshiva Institute of Black Top Street Hockey, the DENIM DEMONSSSSSSSS. Co-Captaining the  S.S. Hell Fyre, Jennifer ‘Double Vodka Soda’ Popack and Boat Abstinence Brad. In net – Sarah and Brian, have you fixed the nets yet??? – Banana ‘Zach’ Casca..word on the street is he’s recently single and exceptionally good with his glove hand. They have Zach Fein who can rip a shot like we all expect him to rip his tight joggers, the Rosen Bash Bros, and Adam ‘Sideline Referee’ Reubens. I will say though, this ghoulish squad does have two redeeming Demons in Sara and Tracy. The remainder of this bi-lingual group includes a guy named Gene, some dude named Miles, and about 12 other players all named Zach.

And now, the team you have all been waiting to hear about! The Actual League Sweethearts, Darlings of Alphabet City, the team that is so kind they will apologize to you after they win, the Darrrrrk RAINBOWS. If the Muppets ever put a team in BTSH, they would be the Dark Rainbows. Captaining the Rainbows are your very own pint sized Jess “It’s not Jessica or ‘Ica’ Deustche and Mike ‘Welcome to the All Hands Team’ Yetter. Between the pipes – assuming Sarah and Brian fixed them – is the lean, mean, I hope he washes those socks, David Greenwald. Additionally this team boasts an impressive crew of Funny Man Brett Hiker, Funny Looking Man, Bryan Stratton, Karl, a guy with a striking resemblance to one Jesus’s Disciples, the Formidable Cat Boyd, Tia Lendo, and Kat with a ‘K.’

Prediction of Yeshiva University Varsity Hockey vs. The Muppets Take Manhattan: While the Yeshiva University has peak training facilities, nothing but the best trainers, and produces some pretty solid hockey players, the Muppets play for the joy of playing, the community, and the cold post game beers. Ultimately is heart that wins over talent. Muppets…errr I mean Rainbows win 2 -1.

Read the rest of this entry »