Week 8 Previews
June 3rd, 2016By Rachel G.
Rehabs at What The Puck
Fine Ryann, we get the point. They swiped right. You are that damn good. Now let someone else score? How about Bryan, does he get to score at all? Or is that against the bylaws? WTP, here’s what you do…mark Ryann and let Jaime goal hang. Got it? You’re welcome.
Prediction: Rehabs by 2, I feel like WTP will not follow my flawless plan.
Filthier at Gouging Anklebiters
‘Biters have lost a few close ones to Formerly-Known-as-Katz-Division opponents recently, but Filthy is really looking to stop the skid. Did Ann decide to change things up and replace Tim K permanently with Newman since he spent last weekend beaching it up with some Filthy deserters? You’ll have to tune in to find-out. What might be most interesting here is to watch #1 and #2 goal scorers in the league face off. Probie, don’t look behind you…it is Denis. Note to all ‘biters, protect those Cheekbones, dammit.
Prediction: ‘Biters by 1, the skid continues.
Dark Rainbows at Butchers
(Guest written by Cheekbones)
MDF is back, baby!
Prediction: Butchers by 1 in OT.
Gut Rot at Gremlins
Is it true? Has it really been six weeks? Is JW back to screen Jamie in net? I think so. I apologize in advance to Ryan, Erich, Rod and the rest of the Gremlins; I hope you enjoyed playing for a few weeks, now it’s back to the bench for you while Walker refuses to shift off. Gut Rot is still looking for their first W, and man is all of BTSH cheering for them…except the Gremlins. Jamie isn’t really going to make this easy for them, but I hope they put up a few. Maybe Perko needs to stop looking at subway maps and listening to Baby Metal and step up and score some goals? Also Heather. I think Heather should score a goal this week.
Prediction: Gremmies by 2, Jamie is nice, but not that nice.
Mathematics at Denim Demons
Passover feast of Champions? Could it be the Demons year?
Prediction: Math by 1, Sam paid me off with tomato plants.
Tompkins Square Riots at Corlears Hookers
F*ck. Off. Brian. Cro.
Prediction: Hookers by 1, they won’t be shut out twice in a row.
Poutine Machine at Instant Karma
Late night snack worth salivating for. Mmm…
Prediction: Poutine by 1, and let’s go eat a goddamn snack.
Fuzz at LBS, Inc.
2016 LBS are looking like the LBS of old. Remember when Karsten and Ken were young pups scoring and fighting everywhere? Well, Karsten is still here, scoring and not backing down. Lately this classic BTSH franchise has been knocking off league villains left and right, Demons, Fresh Kills, Sky Fighters. Who’s up next on the block? New League not-favorite, Fuzz! Easier said than done, Alyssa’s been stealthily working her way up the rankings, while Rich remains firmly planted at the bottom. Who the F is Miles H. you might ask? LBS, you should definitely be asking.
Prediction: LBS by 1, age before beauty.
Cobra Kai at Mega Touch
I’m not sure if y’all noticed, but our old Commish has returned, and from the looks of it, age hasn’t slowed him down at all (l believe Larry taught him this trick). Of course Cobra Kai doesn’t know who he is, because they don’t even know that we have a Commish or an end of season party (seriously guys, FREE PIZZA). However, Liam offers the ladies free beer, who can turn that down?
Prediction: CK by 2, Mega’s Cinderella story comes to an end this week.
Fresh Kills at Sky Fighters
Smile or grimace?
Prediction: FK by 2, Smile less?
Blast from an Unpublished Past — The “Latest” Know Your Neighbor
June 1st, 2016
There was once a girl who wore a white skirt and wasn’t Ali from the Pounds. This was back in the Platinum Media years, when Rich used to be a dick*, no one really knew people on the Pounds, except Tim B, Ali, and that curly-haired man, and all the league members honored the line of, “yeah, I’m not sure when I’m going to post this article, but someday I’ll get to it–don’t worry–just write ahead of your time and you won’t have to worry about when it gets published.”
Well, Liz Boylan did none of that and spewed out some 2015 BTSH pop culture, so some of these references are old… Thanks, Liz…
* He still is a dick, but used to be one, too
Hometown: Staten Island till I was 8 (Diane loves me a little bit more because I was born there) Toms River, NJ after that.
College: Brookdale Community College
Profession: Interventional Radiologic Technologist
Favorite BTSH team other than the Elves: Def not the Elves, my LBS of course duh.
The Pounds at least get one thing right: Yes! Yes! Yes!
Favorite NHL team: Rangers
This is Liz and her cat, who is curiously observing the selfie phenomenon.
If Tim Brown stooped to your level, what would he say: LIIIIIIZZZZZEEEEEERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Favorite NYC bar: Bailey’s Corner a dive bar near my apartment that I just love.
If you had one of the Pounds polo jerseys, would you pop the collar in the Ocean City bound rape van: Just because I am from Jersey does not mean I would pop my collar, and Mike roofied all the girls in the back of the van so I do not remember the ride to or from Ocean City.
Jeez, this van really gets around BTSH…
What the BTSH media will begin to overhype you about: That I am a social LBS.
Why do you hate Rich Glanzer so much: Rich Glanzer has a face that just makes you wanna punch it, plus he’s a dick. Although at a party last week we both simultaneously yelled at this guy that was trying to interrupt our conversation. The guy left confused and scared while we laughed hysterically. Rich then proposed to me and has already started planning the wedding. So I guess I will be spending the rest of my life hating him, although I could always stand in front of the M79.
If you walked through Tompkins Square Park at midnight on a Tuesday night, which teammate (Tommy C, Tim Brown, Ali the girl, Curly Haired Man, The Hair, or Tim Brown again) would you see drinking a Colt 45 waiting for the bathrooms to open: Both Tim Browns
Ace or Double Wide: Ace, so many good memories already, plus Double Wide banned Camden and how can anyone in their right minds ban that cute little pup…I mean come on.
Mets or Stankees: I am a who I’m with fan, so I guess Mets since Rich and I are engaged…gross.
If the Pounds made it to the BTSH Championship, what team would you want to play: Most definitely Filthier, I want one more shot at them before Ben and Jenna peace out.
Nobody likes this question, but it’s the best one. If Sigmund Freud analyzed your game play, what would he conclude:
ABSTRACT:
Upon evaluating the young lady playing for the very talented LBS, I have come to many conclusions about her behavior. While on the court Elizabeth expressed a great deal of aggression and has quite a competitive nature. Her ID seems to operate extremely high during the physical stress of the game, and her rational self ego is not around to tell her perhaps it is not a good idea to run a million miles an hour into another person as she was warned by Jenna Cruff. Cruff then forced her to sit because of continual said aggression.
We’ll be back soon…
May 31st, 2016
We’ll be back later on this week with some news on a Neighbor and possibly those Previews. Stay tuned!
The Karma Confections Caption Contest Conclusion
May 27th, 2016
Derek: Rich made ’em!
Ben: Mm-hmmmmm.
Zach: …
Gulliver’s Travels: The Sequel
3rd Place: Anonymous (ANNOUNCE THYSELF!)
“Actually, not sure if that’s glaze, since I found these in the Tompkins bathrooms. After Derek used them.”
Honorable mention: Abby M.
“Wow, Ben. I have to say: your balls are so tender.”
“Well, there’s no beating my balls. They’re made from a secret Schweddy family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy balls.”
Side-note: The media policy of using first names and last initials makes everything sound like an AA meeting. [-ed.]
Right to Play Tournament
May 26th, 2016The Right to Play (RTP) Charity Ball Hockey Tournament is back again this year at Mofo Rink on June 18th. All proceeds benefit Right to Play, a non-profit organization that uses the power of play and sport to educate and empower children facing adversity.
Here are the details:
*When: June 28th
*Time: 8:30am registration, 9:00am puck drop
*Format / Skill Level: Co-Ed / All Ranges
*Location: Rink in Tanahey Park, located at the intersection of Cherry Street and Catherine Street in Lower Manhattan (http://mofohockey.org/about/location/)
*Required Equipment: Stick, Gloves, Eye Protection (i.e. sunglasses)
*How to Sign Up:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/events/924625737667247/
Website: https://my.righttoplayusa.org/new-york/events/cnyp-charity-ball-hockey-tournament/e79828
*Cost: $35 donation per player or $175 per team
*Format/Teams: There will be 6 teams, each with a minimum of 6 players (including 1 goalie). If you already have your team lined up, you can register that team (or join that team) by clicking the link above. If you do not already have a team lined up, please register as an individual and you will be placed on a team.
If you have any questions, please email Pete Gordon. (pete.gordon@scotiabank.com or 646-787-7976)
The final format will be subject to how many teams are created based on number of players signed up.
See you out there!
