btsh.org

By Richiepoothang

Before I write these previews, I want to make sure I get paid even if the games are called off due to Rain Fears. I mean I went to the park today and saw this woman with an umbrella and thought, “Thank God Danielle didn’t see her or she’d cancel the whole season.”

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By Rachel G.

Rehabs at What The Puck
Fine Ryann, we get the point.  They swiped right. You are that damn good.  Now let someone else score? How about Bryan, does he get to score at all? Or is that against the bylaws?  WTP, here’s what you do…mark Ryann and let Jaime goal hang.  Got it?  You’re welcome.

Prediction: Rehabs by 2, I feel like WTP will not follow my flawless plan.

Filthier at Gouging Anklebiters
‘Biters have lost a few close ones to Formerly-Known-as-Katz-Division opponents recently, but Filthy is really looking to stop the skid.  Did Ann decide to change things up and replace Tim K permanently with Newman since he spent last weekend beaching it up with some Filthy deserters?  You’ll have to tune in to find-out.  What might be most interesting here is to watch #1 and #2 goal scorers in the league face off.  Probie, don’t look behind you…it is Denis.  Note to all ‘biters, protect those Cheekbones, dammit.

Prediction: ‘Biters by 1, the skid continues.

Dark Rainbows at Butchers
(Guest written by Cheekbones)

Hold the phone.  Shut the front door.  MDF is back again this week, slamming from the point, for the Butchers?  Someone, bring me my pills…this is too exciting.  Meanwhile, for the Dark Rainbows, Aaron is darting around and feeding to Bill’s dangerous shot.  But then again, Arnold is also back and ready to flip the f*ck out for the Butchers.  This game is gonna be hotter than a gorilla debate.

Prediction: Butchers by 1 in OT.

Gut Rot at Gremlins
Is it true?  Has it really been six weeks?  Is JW back to screen Jamie in net?  I think so.  I apologize in advance to Ryan, Erich, Rod and the rest of the Gremlins; I hope you enjoyed playing for a few weeks, now it’s back to the bench for you while Walker refuses to shift off.  Gut Rot is still looking for their first W, and man is all of BTSH cheering for them…except the Gremlins.  Jamie isn’t really going to make this easy for them, but I hope they put up a few.  Maybe Perko needs to stop looking at subway maps and listening to Baby Metal and step up and score some goals?  Also Heather.  I think Heather should score a goal this week.

Prediction: Gremmies by 2, Jamie is nice, but not that nice.

Mathematics at Denim Demons

I think Cherie was still hurtin’ from the Gremlins game a few weeks ago, so last week she put the hurtin’ on the reigning champs.  This week she may aim to put the hurt ‘on everyone’s favorite’ current formerly-known-as-Katz-division leader.  Math has been a bit inconsistent this season, maybe it’s because Justin keeps masquerading as Brad Pitt?  Nobody knows.  Demon’s box score last week disproves the old adage “Jews don’t play sports, we own teams.”  Unfortunately for Math, it ain’t Passover.

Prediction: Math by 1, Sam paid me off with tomato plants.

Tompkins Square Riots at Corlears Hookers

Which version of the Hookers will show up this week?  Will it be the Week 6 Hookers (beating Cobra Kai’s secret powerhouse) or Week 7 (getting shelled by the Rehabs)?  Sam M., you and the Hookers need to figure out which bathroom you are going into.  Riots, are you going to take advantage of this?  Suz, Jen, Laura and Amy…I’m looking at you guys, give Sharif a reason to celebrate.

Prediction: Hookers by 1, they won’t be shut out twice in a row.

Poutine Machine at Instant Karma

I think the media has failed to pay proper attention to just how impressive, and delicious, that name is – Poutine Machine.  Yum.  Was it by chance that one of the league’s only French Canadians ended up on this team?  Fries, Gravy AND cheese curds.  Swoon.  Not quite as delicious, the incarnation of Instant Karma that was Instant Schwarma?  I’m sorry Isaac, Chadwick, Al and team.  Kali is second fiddle to this majestic late night snack food of the north.  Also, both of these goalies are really good, but not as good as poutine.

Prediction: Poutine by 1, and let’s go eat a goddamn snack.

Fuzz at LBS, Inc.
2016 LBS are looking like the LBS of old.  Remember when Karsten and Ken were young pups scoring and fighting everywhere?  Well, Karsten is still here, scoring and not backing down.  Lately this classic BTSH franchise has been knocking off league villains left and right, Demons, Fresh Kills, Sky Fighters.  Who’s up next on the block?  New League not-favorite, Fuzz!  Easier said than done, Alyssa’s been stealthily working her way up the rankings, while Rich remains firmly planted at the bottom.  Who the F is Miles H. you might ask?  LBS, you should definitely be asking.

Prediction: LBS by 1, age before beauty.

Cobra Kai at Mega Touch
I’m not sure if y’all noticed, but our old Commish has returned, and from the looks of it, age hasn’t slowed him down at all (l believe Larry taught him this trick).  Of course Cobra Kai doesn’t know who he is, because they don’t even know that we have a Commish or an end of season party (seriously guys, FREE PIZZA).  However, Liam offers the ladies free beer, who can turn that down?

Prediction: CK by 2, Mega’s Cinderella story comes to an end this week.

Fresh Kills at Sky Fighters

This will be a fun one to watch!  But more fun if Soko thinks ahead and doesn’t wear blue.  Soko, Ariel… heads up… Roman and his brother have also cracked your secret code.  Da.  You know, I think the Sky Fighters might actually have a chance here, if they can stop knockin’ other teams about like it’s a street brawl.  Two of my favorite BTSH keepers in net here, they’ll have a day of it with Ariel, Soko, Gabe, Sheena, Roman, Greg, and Olivier shooting at them.

Prediction: FK by 2, Smile less?