btsh.org

By Dingle McCringle

Ooooo, it’s the best time of the year. Crisp fall air, the leaves changing colors, warm apple cider, and most importantly BTSH PLAYOFFS!!!

But before the grand kit and kaboodle, there are three very meaningful games being played this Sunday to see who could do their best impression of the 2020 MTL Canadiens, and not just sneak into the big show, but possibly win the whole thing.

(Narrator: The Canadiens very much did not win the whole thing. #’Merica)

Here we go…

Riots vs. Rainbows

If you want an underdog story, look no further than the Riots. After a tumultuous regular season, a win against the Rainbows would be HUGE!! The Rainbows will have to stay sharp to avoid the ol’ Sleeper Game. With attendance issues sure to plague most teams this fall, now might be the best time to strike for the Riots

Prediction: Rainbows win a closer than expected one, 5-3

Rotten Math vs. Hookers

After last season’s success (2019 feels forever ago) who would’ve thought the Hookers would be fighting for their life in a play-in game. In a similar setup to the Riots/’Bows game, if Rotten Math are in it for most of the game, maybe Hookers get in their own heads a bit. Maybe we see a tie game with only minutes to spare. Maybe I should stop talking in hypotheticals and we should play the damn thing.

Prediction: Hookers win easy, 4-1, and Rotten Math start thinking of a better name for next season.

Butchers vs. Gremlins

A true toss-up game. They were close in the standings for the whole season, but… not a lot of points between the two sides. But I digress!! The Gremlins have played a lot of one and two goal games this year, and based on their season, if they can net three, they’re in pretty good shape. The Butchers, on the other hand, are coming off their best offensive game of the season potting four against Fuzz.

Prediction: Butchers win a tight one, 2-1, with a controversial “was his/her foot in the crease?” goal being the difference maker.

Written by JW

Comprised of both the 3 on 3 tournament, and the All-Star game/skills competitions, this was a BTSH Sunday like no other. Many stars arose (and surprisingly zero Not Stars, at least that I saw/heard about, someone correct me if I’m wrong about that) but I had to whittle it down to only 3…….oh, and a bunch of honorable mentions. 

Without further ado, let’s see who we’ve got. 

3rd Star: Free Agency

Some free agents were new, and didn’t know many people. Some (such as myself) are old and just didn’t have the motivation or energy to put a team together. It’s fun to just roll the dice and see who you end up playing with. Some were only able to make it last-minute, so they jumped in as free agents. However all of us got here, we ended up with 3 free agent teams. I loved my team (which Cheeky curated), and I saw that the other 2 free agent teams were out there having a blast as well. One of those free agent teams even beat multiple stacked teams and went on to WIN THE WHOLE DAMN THING. This star is especially for you, the Fried Pork Dumplings. Your win was the cherry on top of a great day. Wait, no, the All-Star game was the cherry on top. So I guess your win was whatever comes just beneath the cherry on a sundae. I don’t know, I don’t eat desserts. Congratulations on the win. 

2nd Star: The Refs

It’s a thankless job. Nobody really WANTS to do it (except Lee, apparently?). But, somebody’s gotta do it. And some days somebody’s gotta do it A LOT. With a shortage of refs, those who did ref had to put in some serious extra time this week. Apologies if I missed any of you: Yetter reffed a bunch of games, I also know I saw: Cheeky, Sarah, Hicks, Eli reffed one of my games last-minute, even Jessica got stuck reffing her first game ever. Glanzer and I deemed her performance……adequate. (She actually did a really great job reffing, but I refuse to admit it). Lee easily reffed the most games of the day, including jumping in to assist the aforementioned rookie ref during the All-Star game. Thank you all for your service. 

1st Star: The Organizers – Cheeky, Jack, Russo, Jessica

Y’all knew who was getting 1st Star. But if you weren’t there, you don’t know how much they deserve it. From the conception of the idea, to the planning, to the setting up, to the execution of the idea, to the closing down……they did it all. Jack, for coming up with the idea, dealing with the bracketology (that’s a word, right?), Russo for setting up AND closing down and all that comes in between, Jessica for making sure the All-Star game happened (complete with beer mines, replacing face-offs with chug-offs, and all the usual hijinks), and last but surely most – Cheeky, for doing a ton of the heavy lifting and (on a personal note) writing a rad theme song for my team. I think you need to lay that track down at some point. In addition to all this, all 4 of them did all the behind-the-scenes things that none of us ever see, as well as all the game day things that were visibly apparent. I myself know a bit about organizing a rain date tournament, it’s incredibly stressful but also well worth it because everyone had an awesome time on Sunday. So, is this Fab Four more legendary than The Beatles? Probably. I actually wouldn’t know, I’m more of a fan of The Who. What are The Beatles? Thank you all for putting together a super fun day. 

I stupidly forgot to get a photo of all 4 of them together…

Honorable mentions:

The goalies – The goalies actually almost got 2nd star over the refs. There was also a bit of a goalie shortage and they had to play a TON, never once complaining. Friedman and Cam even went the extra mile and played the All-Star game at the end. Maybe the goalies should have gotten 2nd star? Who writes this stuff anyway?

The opening crew – Scotty K., Jessica, Jeff from the Demons, Casca were even earlier than me, they were building nets when I arrived (Jessica lost at the net-building competition AGAIN), Russo for opening up, etc. I definitely forgot some people here.

The closing crew – Russo, Hogg, Dana, Campbell, Ramy, Charlotte from Math Rot. I definitely forgot at least 2 people here.

Caitlin – For taking Charlotte to urgent care when Charlotte broke her finger AGAIN. (frowny face.)

Campbell – The GWG in the All-Star Game, after having to chug 2 Clawmines he knocked over.

Cherie put up 89mph and Gabe put up 94mph in the hardest shot competition. And to Rich for stealing a radar gun.

That’s all folks. Actually, one more thing. This was easily the photo of the day:

See you next year.

by Jess

3v3

Free Agent Team Pork Dumplings- or is it dumblings @jack- took home the Big Check in a come from behind (pause) victory after the Frey Sex team thought they were gonna big dick around the courts all day long.

Hardest Shot

Gabe: 94mph

Cherie: 89mph

HM for men under 5 ft 10″ (sorry Louis): Jack 88 mph

Second HM: Rich for actually asking his boss if he could borrow a $5,000 police radar gun. OUR TAXES PAY FOR THAT!!!

All Star Game 2021

The d1/d4 vs d3/d2 game was heated with back and forth goals, land mine beers and white claws, and a set of 10 cross fit certified push ups. The goalies (Friedman and Cam) were on fire. The refs (myself and Lee) were adequate. The 3-3 contest went to OT and Campbell, who had to chug 2 white claws in a row, ended up scoring the GWG for d2/d3. Congrats to everyone who showed up and made it fun!

Overall it was a super fun day, thanks to everyone for coming out. Props to the people who helped set up and clean up (Walker, Russo, Jeff, Campbell, Dana, Sarah, Brian and more) and thanks to Jack and Cheeky for organizing. See you all at playoffs!!!

by Glnzr

Third Star: Mega Touch

Julie basically sent me a team pic and ordered me to not only do the stars, but to make sure Mega gets one.

Honestly, they deserve it. What a season. With a 7-3 record they finish in 5th place in the whole league. It’s a great accomplishment for a bunch of mostly good people. But can they take the next step? In the past they’ve lost playoff heartbreakers to Fresh Kills and the Rehabs. It would be nice for them to make a run. I’d like to see it. 

Second Star: Sig

Hey yo. The Bad Guy came to play! After playing for the Elves and Fuzz for almost a decade, Sig ditched the league sweethearts and joined the Dojo. A couple of weeks ago, he guaranteed Cobra Kai would not lose another game. Down 1-0, Sig scored a huge goal that referee Justin claims went in. Then in the shootout Cobra Kai told Sig you joined to be in big moment and he thrilled his teammates and Cutler by scoring the big goal. Much like the time Hicks left Fuzz and put up 4 against his old mates, Sig earned the first star. Unfortunately for him…one of the leagues greatest moments happened an hour prior to screw him of his deserved glory.

First Star: Caroline/Sarah

In perhaps one of the best accomplishments in BTSH history, both Sarah M. and Caroline got a hat trick on Filthier and Tim K. What’s great about this hat trick is they both have been in the league since at least 2007, and neither of them had ever (probably) got a hat trick before. To do this against one of the leagues best goalies makes the accomplishment even better. Not a star for Richie for not getting a picture of the two and instead use this file one from 1983.

by christo_the_hawk

Filthier tried to hold on to their 1 goal lead but the Lbs took it to OT and won with a goal from newly-minted teammate Sam.

The Lbs kept their win streak alive with a 2-0 victory against the Hookers. Welcome back captain Sarah!!!

The Biters demolished Filthier 9-2, solidifying their spot in the 1st division again for next year and certain demotion for Filthier.

After a 2-2 regulation game Cobra Kai and Fuzz took things to OT and then lolshootouts where Sig (who used to play for Fuzz last year) netted the game winner. “I’m happy for him” – Andrea

The Rehabs beat WTP 3-1 with an unfortunate own goal for WTP in the opening half.

Yet another lolshootouts game for Demons and Sky Fighters with D-Ro scoring the game winner and the Demons clinging onto 3rd division status for dear life for one more year.

The Rainbows made quick work of the Riots, 3-0. I think I speak for everyone when I say thank god Dan is back from Canada.

The Gremlins lost to a strong Mega team with a Shelly appearance, 3-0. See you in the 4th division next year, Walker!!!!

And Karma took down Poutine 3-1 thanks to and overall strong team performance and 2 goals from Austin*. Austin is the new Derek, sorry Derek**.

*who stayed out until 4am last night

**I’m not really that sorry

See you all next week for the All Star Game and other fun competitions!