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Fresh Kills at Denim Demons

New look Demons will be tested early against a merciless division rival, FK. Least Improved Male of 2015 is back with more shoulder-shrugging scoring, but that is about all the Kills will be able to muster. Pride is on the line here for the wounded Demons and that is exactly when an animal is most dangerous.

Prediction: Jeff and Josh do work and the Demons pull off an upset 4-3.

Sky Fighters at LBS, Inc.

The hostile takeover of LBS, Inc. by the Sky Fighters continues in this latest chapter of clashing league titans. Lead strategist for SF has moved on and we can expect the LBS brass to test their change in leadership. As logical as this approach is, I expect the new captains to be deserving of the C on their sweaters and inspire their troops to replicate their 2015 playoff heroics in this quarterfinals rematch.

Prediction: Sky Fighters make a statement 3-1.

Rain fears? Snow Fears? What a day, what a lovely day to get this season started!

Filthier at Rehabs

Pacified by finally having their names engraved on the PBR Cup, the Filth no longer views it with the same respect as a Holy Grail. And rumors are swirling that they are secretly planning on going 0-18 in order to manufacture a tough re-peat championship run. That being said, the gossip-mongers will have quieted as the Rehabs first half success quickly erodes in the second as Filthy shakes off the hangover and regains their swagger.

Prediction: Rehabs will be holding additional tryouts after a Filthy spanking at the rhythm of 7-2.

Mathematics at Gouging Anklebiters

Neither of these teams made a lot of noise in the off-season with splashy acquisitions. Content with the squads they rolled with last season, confidence is high that success will continue into this one. So, alright, to determine how this one might go, let’s analyze the differences between the two. Fun Teams – check, Skillz – check, Scoring Threats – check, Drinking Buddies – check, Reliable Goalies – check, Dicks – nope, Uniforms – ah ha! Eureka, we found one! Blue and yellow is much more appealing than the lowly color of cemented slush. And what is cement good for? Walking all over it…

Prediction: Probert and the Biter’s stroll to the pace of 4-2.

‘Welcome to the f—‘n $h0w.’

What The Puck at Instant Karma

Welcoming Karma to the $h0wT!m3 division are the Pucks. WTP is still sore from last year’s shocking playoff upset and are out to prove it was only a fluke. Karma on the other hand experienced a bumpy inaugural season and will be unveiling some new talent. The fate of this one will be settled by the undeniable formula of: Chemistry Rules Everything Around Match-ups (CREAM).

Prediction: Nope. Not even going to go there. (But if I did, I’d go with the team that plays the better game.)

Fuzz at Corlears Hookers

The Elves were slaughtered last year by Karma, buried during the winter by Richiepoo, and have resurrected this season as the Fuzz. The Hookers meanwhile find themselves as strangers in a strange land after being raised in the Brown division. And who better for them to make their first Newman division encounter with than the Fuzz. This one has all the makings of a Game of the Week and is sure to be an entertaining power struggle throughout the match. Just a hunch, but I’m forecasting that one of them commits a heinous act in the second that they’ll regret later in the season.

Prediction: A hard fought battle that goes to overtime with the Fuzz prevailing 4-3.

We’ll see how their new digs work out.

Gremlins at Poutine Machine

These two teams had opposite season’s last year. The Gremlins’ steamrolled the Greene division and are back in their rightful place, while the Machine is still picking up the pieces from a disastrous showing.   Past being put aside, this game features an outstanding battle of top Centers in the league. Sullivan of PM is one of best two-way Forwards and will be put to the test against offensively gifted Graham of G who thrives on a style of push-push-push.

Prediction: Gremlins narrowly escape with late a goal by Cho 3-2.

Can’t find anything to watch? Then tune in to this…

Tompkins Square Riots at Mega Touch

The Basement Bowl Series of 2016 kicks off with the first installment: Team Jones vs Team Katz. If you are on the sidelines when this show begins then I implore you to grab some refreshments, throw on something warm, and cheer these two on championship game style! Which side will you be on? I know which one I’ll be and it’s not either of these two. Smooches, ladies. Love ya both!

Prediction: Mega Fun Bunch earns their Mega Only Win! 2-0!

Gut Rot at Dark Rainbows

This match-up is being played waaaaaaay too early in the season as both teams are predicted to slug it out for tops in the Greene division. Captain Abby is super peeved about some DRs not receiving name recognition in the previews and may ask them to announce themselves. However, if Captain Tommy and the rest of Rot can pick up where they left off last year, then 2015’s Second Star is in for a long day.

Prediction: Scott solves Longwell and Gut Rot takes opening day pole position 2-1.

Well, do ya!?!

Cobra Kai at Butchers

These two teams are polar opposites of each other. The Butchers play a stay at home, slow it down game that forces opponents into making mistakes. And the clan from the evil dojo likes to turn up the tempo and push the ball into their offensive zone. Unfortunately for CK, their overzealous effort will play right into the Butchers’ hands and cost them an opening day W.

Prediction: Patience rewards the Butchers 5-2.