btsh.org

BTSH, these are your final 3 stars of the week, for this year.  Thanks for letting me mildly entertain you all year. 

3rd Star: Curt Chaplin – the LBS, inc. Family

Jake from LBS brought his 65 year-old dad Curt to play in net for the final scrimmage of the season. When Curt was suiting up some of the shooters going up against him may have been thinking “check out this old timer getting dressed, this is going to be easy.” They couldn’t have been more WRONG. Making save after spectacular save, Curt looked more like a 25 year-old netminder out there. Curt continually robbing kids blind left and right led one player on the opposing team to shout “Jake, what did you borrow Lundquist for the day?? This is insane.” Actually, that outburst may have happened at the point when little kids from were coming in off the sidewalk asking for Curt’s autograph. When I asked Curt how he was able to play at such a high level at his age he started talking about dungarees and how he loved going to watch the ‘talkies’ as a kid, and he lost me a little bit. 
A goalie has one job – keep the puck out of the net.  For excelling at that job and then some, Curt, we award you 3rd star of the week. 

2nd star: Rich Glanzer – Editor-in-Chief, BTSH.org (also I think he plays for that green team)

While it pains me to give Rich any type of accolade, I just couldn’t deny it any longer.  While the rest of us slacker BTSH website writers were off chilling on the beach, galavanting around the city, or doing whatever the hell else we do (working?) Rich was hounding us with email after email to make sure we finished writing the 3 Stars, finished writing the previews, and got all our nominations and votes for the 2015 Awards in. When we continued to eat bonbons and relax while getting our hair did, all the while not getting our writing done, he did a good amount of it himself. Honestly, without Rich’s constant nagging we may not have even got the award nominations done in time, among many other things this season that may not have gotten done without him. Even after all that, we managed to forget to announce the Hall Of Famers for this year. (Though, I must say, Rich’s choice to go watch his random coworker’s rec league softball game over the BTSH end of season party was questionable, at best.)
While Rich may be one of the most loud-mouthed, boorish people in BTSH, one thing you can’t take away from him is that he cares about this league. When I asked him why he cares so much about keeping the league entertained via the website and also giving other BTSHers credit where credit is due he started rambling on and on about the Ultimate Warrior and George “The Animal” Steele until I basically had to plug my ears. Rich, for staying on top of things while the rest of us were off seeing Bayside! The Musical! for our third time I bequeath to you 2nd star of the week. You earned it. 

Note: Rich didn’t get this star for his hockey skills, as he hasn’t scored a goal in BTSH since 1993. However, since hockey is like the 6th or 7th most important part of this league, it makes perfect sense.

Rich actually would have received 1st star this week, if not for this…….

1st star of the week: The Sidelines.

Some background here: When Isaac emailed me his votes for the 3 Stars of the Season he included this as his vote for 1st star.  I loved it so much that I asked him if I could publish it, and he said yes.

Written by 2015 Rookie of the Year, Isaac Stewart:

First Star: The Sidelines

The first inductee into the 2015 BTSH Hall of Fame is your 2015 BTSH MVP, Craig L. Craig might be the most well-rounded HOFer yet. He can get in with his stellar play in the nets, as well as his off-the-charts fun factor on the rinks, or in the bar.

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2015 Award winners:

Best Duo

Johnston Sisters

Feminist of the Year:  

Mia Juhng – Poutine Machine

Masculinity of the Year:  

Derek Tagliarino – Mathematics

Rookie of the Year (Male):

Isaac Stewart – Instant Karma

Rookie of the Year (Female):  

Liz Boylan – LBS, inc.

 

Upset of the Year:

‘Biters over Fresh Kills 

Best Laugh:

Jamie Batuwantudawe – Gremlins

Minkus Award—for flamboyance and extraordinary feats in goaltending:  

$h0wT!m3 Melendez – REEEEEHAAAAABBBSSSS

C Dubs Award:  

Eli Kazin (Mathematics)

Bob W. Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence (Captain Of The Year)

Ben Chadwick – Instant Karma

Most Improved: 

Ann Mathews – Filthier

Least Improved:  

Gabe Chenard-Poirier – Fresh Kills

Stacy Kehoe Award for Toughness and Grace:

Sena Ito –  REEEEEEEEHAAAAABBBSSSSSS

3 Stars of the Season: (as voted on by you, the BTSH voting public)

3rd star: a tie! – Cherie Stewart/David Liang – Mathematics

2nd star: Kevin “His Name Is” Longwell – Dark Rainbows

1st star: Craig LaCombe – Gouging Anklebiters

congrats to all the winners!

Too many, too good, too Filthy. When #3 Rehabs were slated to go against the top seeded Filthier,  most predicted a victory for the top seed. Few probably predicted the final score, 6-2.

It really reminded me of the World Series that my Metsies just lost. The Rehabs scored first, were playing really well and then boom, the Royals just stomped them. Every mistake the Mets made, led to rallies by the Royals. The 2015 BTSH Championship Game was eerily similar.

Up 1-0 the Rehabs didn’t handle prosperity well, as they gave the ball right to Filthier in the slot, and they buried it home before $h0wT!m3 could react. The second goal went off a Rehabs player’s stick and from there it was pretty much over. The onslaught was on. Hector and the Rehabs battled hard, but in the end, James, Denis, Sunny, Suvin, Shaq and Timmy K. were just too dominant. 

Watching the game, I thought of the scrimmage that was just played. It was fun but obviously there wasn’t a commitment to team defense. There were a lot of giveaways and we all had many chances from point blank range. Many of us hit the goalie in the chest. And that really is what separates us, from Filthy. Filthy makes mistakes, they give the ball away. But when you give the ball away to them, they bury the ball top shelf. And you can’t concentrate on one of them, because there are always multiple Filthiers on the rink at the same time who can top shelf the ball. And if you double team their superstars, the girls have shown they can put one past the goalie regularly as well. I think Ann had 4-5 goals on the year. I noticed in the finals she was constantly left open right by the net with her stick down, ready to pounce. And not to mention (even though I’m about to mention it), once you get past their offense, into their zone and get a shot off, Tim K. is a rock. 

In the end, the crazy forchecking led by Denis, and James P.’s ability to deflect any ball from any distance into the net is too much to handle for most teams. Plus it seemed Joe Buck was pulling for them.

The 6-2 score was probably the biggest goal differential in the Modern Era (2008-2015). I think Filthier took what I wrote as a dig but it wasn’t meant as one when I said, “I’m not sure any two teams had an easier run to the finals. The Rehabs beat Karma (17th seed), Math (2nd Division, but no James) and Sky (2nd Division). Meanwhile Filthier beat maybe the Riots or Rainbows, Gremmies and Anklebiters. In other words, neither team had to go through a top division team.”

The fact is you have to give credit to the one team that didn’t let Cinderella wear her dress. As much as I hate the Patriots year after year what makes them so great is their ability to constantly beat their AFC East “rivals.” Most teams would have a few slip ups but they rarely do. They get on the field, do their job, and pray to Satan afterwards. Same with Filthy. You play them, you get their best. And much like the Goddamned no good Royals, they don’t let up. If you are winning, they won’t let you finish them off because they will be relentless. The fact that all the other top division teams didn’t even make the semis, showed you how much more Filthier wanted this championship. And though the vast majority of the fans were rooting for the Rehabs, Filthier didn’t let that affect them negatively. Maybe they used that as motiviation.

Which brings me to the Rehabs. If you notice, I never said Filthier wanted it more, because honestly, they didn’t. The Rehabs played their assess off. They hustled as they always do the whole game.  Their was no quit. And one play really impressed everyone on the rink, including Filthier I’m sure. When losing 6-2, a ball was in the slot and Ramy dove on the hard concrete, and batted the ball out of bounds with his hand. It was an awesome play. 

In the end it wasn’t the game where $h0wT!m3 got his championship. As Black Rob said to me at the bar, “$h0wT!m3 kept us in it.” Or as Bryan W. said, “You win as a team, you lose as a team, but it was all Christina Lee’s fault.” 

OK, he never said that, but someone did. It might have been me. It was me. 
Whatever assholes, I’ll see you in March and I have no idea what court you’re playing on. Congrats to the champs, Filthier deserved it. 

Who is in the finals this week?  The New York Yankees, the Toronto Blue Jays, the Pittsburgh Pirates, the LA Dodgers, what about the San Francisco Giants?!  Nope, it’s the fucking Mets REEEHAABBBSSSS!!!! 

The Rehabs, just like the Mets, are fueled by naysayers.  “Rehabs suck, Rehabs suck!”  And guess what—they love it!  Who do you know on the Habs?! 

Terry Collins Bryan Welch? Bartolo Colon Hector Melendez?  Matt Harvey Brad Starr?  Travis D’Arnaud Sena Some Unknown Last Name Defensive Superstar? Daniel Murphy Shawn Kirkham?

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