btsh.org

by Jess

3v3

Free Agent Team Pork Dumplings- or is it dumblings @jack- took home the Big Check in a come from behind (pause) victory after the Frey Sex team thought they were gonna big dick around the courts all day long.

Hardest Shot

Gabe: 94mph

Cherie: 89mph

HM for men under 5 ft 10″ (sorry Louis): Jack 88 mph

Second HM: Rich for actually asking his boss if he could borrow a $5,000 police radar gun. OUR TAXES PAY FOR THAT!!!

All Star Game 2021

The d1/d4 vs d3/d2 game was heated with back and forth goals, land mine beers and white claws, and a set of 10 cross fit certified push ups. The goalies (Friedman and Cam) were on fire. The refs (myself and Lee) were adequate. The 3-3 contest went to OT and Campbell, who had to chug 2 white claws in a row, ended up scoring the GWG for d2/d3. Congrats to everyone who showed up and made it fun!

Overall it was a super fun day, thanks to everyone for coming out. Props to the people who helped set up and clean up (Walker, Russo, Jeff, Campbell, Dana, Sarah, Brian and more) and thanks to Jack and Cheeky for organizing. See you all at playoffs!!!

by Glnzr

Third Star: Mega Touch

Julie basically sent me a team pic and ordered me to not only do the stars, but to make sure Mega gets one.

Honestly, they deserve it. What a season. With a 7-3 record they finish in 5th place in the whole league. It’s a great accomplishment for a bunch of mostly good people. But can they take the next step? In the past they’ve lost playoff heartbreakers to Fresh Kills and the Rehabs. It would be nice for them to make a run. I’d like to see it. 

Second Star: Sig

Hey yo. The Bad Guy came to play! After playing for the Elves and Fuzz for almost a decade, Sig ditched the league sweethearts and joined the Dojo. A couple of weeks ago, he guaranteed Cobra Kai would not lose another game. Down 1-0, Sig scored a huge goal that referee Justin claims went in. Then in the shootout Cobra Kai told Sig you joined to be in big moment and he thrilled his teammates and Cutler by scoring the big goal. Much like the time Hicks left Fuzz and put up 4 against his old mates, Sig earned the first star. Unfortunately for him…one of the leagues greatest moments happened an hour prior to screw him of his deserved glory.

First Star: Caroline/Sarah

In perhaps one of the best accomplishments in BTSH history, both Sarah M. and Caroline got a hat trick on Filthier and Tim K. What’s great about this hat trick is they both have been in the league since at least 2007, and neither of them had ever (probably) got a hat trick before. To do this against one of the leagues best goalies makes the accomplishment even better. Not a star for Richie for not getting a picture of the two and instead use this file one from 1983.

by christo_the_hawk

Filthier tried to hold on to their 1 goal lead but the Lbs took it to OT and won with a goal from newly-minted teammate Sam.

The Lbs kept their win streak alive with a 2-0 victory against the Hookers. Welcome back captain Sarah!!!

The Biters demolished Filthier 9-2, solidifying their spot in the 1st division again for next year and certain demotion for Filthier.

After a 2-2 regulation game Cobra Kai and Fuzz took things to OT and then lolshootouts where Sig (who used to play for Fuzz last year) netted the game winner. “I’m happy for him” – Andrea

The Rehabs beat WTP 3-1 with an unfortunate own goal for WTP in the opening half.

Yet another lolshootouts game for Demons and Sky Fighters with D-Ro scoring the game winner and the Demons clinging onto 3rd division status for dear life for one more year.

The Rainbows made quick work of the Riots, 3-0. I think I speak for everyone when I say thank god Dan is back from Canada.

The Gremlins lost to a strong Mega team with a Shelly appearance, 3-0. See you in the 4th division next year, Walker!!!!

And Karma took down Poutine 3-1 thanks to and overall strong team performance and 2 goals from Austin*. Austin is the new Derek, sorry Derek**.

*who stayed out until 4am last night

**I’m not really that sorry

See you all next week for the All Star Game and other fun competitions!

by christo_the_hawk

It’s been a long, shortened season but we finally made it. The last regular season games are being played this weekend! In honor of the last write ups of the year I’m going to finally do what I’ve asked everyone all season long…TWO SENTENCE PREVIEWS.

Filthier vs Lbs

We’re kicking things off nice and early at noon with a shifty Lbs rain fears game. I say shifty because Filthy was up 1-0 and a light drizzle occurred, prompting Frey to pull a Rubens and call the whole thing off. 

Prediction: Shifty Shades of Frey and the Lbs win 3-1.

Filthier v Ankle Biters

Unfortunately the L train has left the station and is picking up speed for Filthier. A well rested Biter’s squad (just kidding, they partied until 4am last week when they had a bye) will come out hard.

Prediction: Biters win 4-0.

Lbs vs Hookers

Kelsey might finally be back from galavanting around in the South of France but regardless if the Lbs are missing her defensive prowess they’ve got all the offensive firepower they need to take down the Hookers, who have put up a disappointing total of 16 goals this year.

Prediction: Lbs win 4-1.

Demons vs Sky Fighters

The Demons are coming off a tough 1 goal loss to the Gremlins and will come out hard. The Sky Fighters, despite losing to Fresh Kills last week are still top contenders and arguably the best team in the 4th division while the Demons are arguably the worst in the 3rd division.

Prediction: If Sky Fighters have their full squad they’ll win, 5-2. 

Fuzz vs Cobra Kai

This could have been the game of the day were it not for Poutine vs Karma. Always a decent head-to-head in terms of scoring ability and goaltending ability, this is a tough call; even with Campbell out with covid Casca can hold it down in net. Fuzz has been unstoppable since their first game of the season, but Cobra Kai’s only 2 losses have been to 1st division teams.

Prediction: The dojo can’t crack the 1st division code. Fuzz wins 2-1.

What the Puck vs Rehabs

Another tough matchup, another good all around team (WTP) punching above their weight. The Rehabs have been on a winning streak and Hicks is actually starting to back check. Tarnow and Henry are both nursing hamstring injuries, leaving WTP without a couple of their top players.

Prediction: 4-0 Rehabs.

Rainbows vs Riots

Rich has predicted a Rainbows loss in this matchup all season long. And I’ll be the first to say you can’t underestimate the Riots, especially if they score first. HOWEVER I think the Bows have the right combo of people coming this weekend to leave it all on the court.

Prediction: 5-1 Rainbows

Mega vs Gremlins

Similar teams, similar gritty playing styles. This will be another great game to watch but ultimately I think Mega will pull away. They’re another top 4th division team with a penchant for scoring facing off against a 3rd division team with a scoring problem.

Prediction: Mega wins 4-2.

Karma vs Poutine

Theee prime time slot. Austin vs Jack. Roomie vs roomie. Sully is away and rumor has it Mikey and Russo are on defense which, when the latter was informed said, “what world are we living in?!”  (overheard on the bleachers at d5). Karma won last time by 1 goal, but this may have only incensed a prideful poo crew. It’s a tough call because those cocky mother fuckers* make it hard to root for them, even if it’s sometimes justified.

Prediction: 2-2 OT, Poutine nets the game winner. 

*I purposely didn’t say which team here. Draw your own conclusions.

Did you know this weekend is the annual Hock-away Beach women’s tournament? Whether you’re a returning player or new to the NYC Women’s Ball Hockey movement, strap in and learn about the makings of this great tournament, coming to you live at Rockaway Beach this weekend 9/18. And if you haven’t signed up yet: you still can.

Women’s Ball Hockey NYC (WBHNYC) is inclusive and open to trans women, nonbinary, and non-conforming folks. So come one, come all!

I virtually sat down with a few of the many amazing organizers of the Hock-away Beach tournament (Marcella, LJ, Mia) to give everyone an idea of what to expect this weekend. 

What *is* Hock-away beach?

Marcella: It’s an Annual Women’s Ball Hockey Tournament that celebrates hockey and community.  It takes place on an outdoor rink right next to the beach. Translation: It’s a freakin’ blast and you should be there.

Mia: Hock-away Beach is a magical and very real place where women get passed to, make plays and score!

What inspired you to get it started?

Marcella: We were inspired by our community’s  history of women-led initiatives in the sport and wanted to do our part. Hock-away is the first thing we did together as a group but now that we’re an organization there’s a lot more to come. The idea of Hock-away is that it remains something our community can always come back to and celebrate together each year. 

LJ: The power of women’s sports. We can be leaders, work together, celebrate each other’s success, push our boundaries and acknowledge our progress. This is sports in general but sometimes these aspects get lost in a coed league. 

Mia: As we were conceptualizing community, a tournament inclusive of all skill levels seemed like the natural expression of healthy competition.

What’s your favorite thing about the tournament?

Marcella: Getting to play with different people and working together as a team towards a common goal. Hanging on the beach and celebrating after with your community is a very close second. 

LJ: Competing (was going to say winning) and getting the chance to play with other women I admire in our community. 

Mia: We work the better part of a year to present the community with programming such as this—my favorite thing is being on site and really seeing how much joy the day brings.

What would you say to someone on the fence about deciding whether or not to come?

Marcella: Just come out and try it– you got this and we got your back.

LJ: Honestly, the only thing to be on the fence about is the commute. And it’s SO worth it. 

Mia: We know it’s a long way to travel for most people, but playing by the ocean is the most amazing thing! In the city we’ve had to deal with nails sticking out at MOFO, being sexually harassed by local boys in Queens and skirting human poo at BTSH. The seaside commute is well worth it!

What’s one thing every ‘rookie’ should bring to the tournament?

Marcella: Sandals for beach time btw games (and sunscreen, looking at you @ emily moore). 

Mia: I kinda can’t say enough about this tiny SunYear folding chair Dani Rylan turned me on to. Hock-way is a long day, so it’s nice to have somewhere to sit that’s not hot pavement.

Who is your favorite fellow BTSH woman to play with?

Marcella: That’s a tough one. We switch up the teams,  so you find chemistry with different people each year, which is part of what I think makes the tournament fun. So, I don’t really have a favorite but can quickly name a few off the top of my head. Let me think.. Umm.. Ok..  Longley is a ton of fun to play with– she’s always in the perfect spot at the right time and fun to set up. Becca is a beast down the line and at powering the ball through on the transition. Hmm ..who else? Julie Katz is really great because she always has a good sense of what the other team is doing, which can really lend clarity when it feels like nothing is going your way. I’ve never played with Tori but she’s really good at making plays out of the corner. Aliza Rana is playing this year for the first time and she can really snipe, so whoever plays with her is gonna rack up a bunch of apples. Honestly, I’ve always wanted to play with the Herr sisters (hockey is in their blood) so I hope they make it out this year (although I wouldn’t look forward to playing against them). And basically all the defensive players– it’s such an important position and essential to winning (sorry in advance for my poor backchecking lol).

LJ: Marcella because she is a pro at dishing out compliments… real answer, so many!! Obviously love the Cobra Kai women. 

Mia: Geez, so many. Is it Cherie repping large for BIPOC women? Tia because she often says funny things? Is it Suz cuz? Honestly there are so many great women at BTSH with superb skills and amazing attitudes, like this author (who didn’t pay me)* Tash, Annie, Shelly, Charlotte, Ryann, Courtney, Andrea… Fierce yet humble.

*confirmed I did not pay Mia

If hock-away beach was a hot dog, what condiments would be on it?

Marcella: Hock-away beach is clearly a sandwich – Hockey + beach time + community. 

LJ: No. Hock-away is the perfectly done steak you cooked for yourself and your friends. Enjoy it!! 

Mia: Obviously, Hock-away is not a hot dog, it’s a taco!

There you have it folks. This media editor is looking forward to her first-ever Hock-away Beach tournament and we hope to see you all out there. Even if you’re a dude or dude-identifying, you can come out to support, help ref or keep score, or just donate to the cause. See you all out there!