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Who do we root for? In life there are so many choices that its tough to decide. Dogs or cats? Democrats or Republicans? Rangers or Caps (That one is easy, Rangers. Also doesn’t count as my troll)  al Qaeda vs. Isis? So its nice when we can all agree on one thing. We hope Gut Rot fucking loses this week.

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3rd star: Eric and Ashley – Gut Rot

This dream team combined to win the first of two Gut Rut shootouts this week.  Ramirez faced 2 shootouts on the day and made every stop in each one. He also only gave up 1 goal in regulation in 1.5 games. In recent weeks several BTSH shootouts have gone to extra rounds. MANY extra rounds. Ashley decided that she couldn’t let that happen to her boo since they had another game to play, so she went and popped one in on her first attempt.  Her shootout winner gave her team the momentum they needed to keep rolling and win the 2nd game of their double header as well. I had a chance to catch up with the happy couple on Sunday after the games – I asked Eric how he was able to stay so sharp throughout both games and 2 shootouts and he mumbled something grumpily at me that I didn’t fully catch. That’s our Eric. I asked Ashley to recreate the scene of her goal for me and she replied “Walker, you just want me to describe it to you because of your crippling fomo.  Fomo, fomo, FOMO Walker!”   She was right.
Congrats to one of BTSH’s favorite duos for combining for the 3rd star this week. 

Note: Gilligan, while I realize that you did the same thing that Ashley did in the other game, you score all the time, bruh.  And, really, Gilligan, this is a romantic moment.  Stop trying to get all up in the middle of it. Creep. 

2nd star:  Josh Rosen – Denim Demons

How did this even happen??  I mean, does this guy even PLAY hockey???  So, what, he just waltzes into Tompkins Square Park, picks up a stick, and scores 4 goals in a game??! What was he even doing at Tompkins?? I can only imagine he was planning to level the park in favor of building fancy new condos. I mean, this dude owns the Seagram building and the Gramercy Park Hotel, not to mention a world-class art collection and what, that’s not enough for him?? He needs Tompkins TOO?? As far as I know this guy has no hockey background, so how on earth did he stroll into our house and notch the ‘ol Texas hat-trick??  Oh, wait…..JOSH??  Oooooooo, oops, I thought you said ABY Rosen. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aby_Rosen

1st star of the week: James Pereira – Filthier

James scored 5 goals on the day in his double header, including a hat trick.  Rumor has it that he almost had the double hat trick, but his goal was waved off. James lead his team to 2 victories on the day, a jump to 1st place in the entire league, and A SHUTOUT OF FRESH KILLS. The last time someone shutout Fresh Kills we were all doing the Safety Dance and rocking neon spandex. I had a chance to talk to some BTSHers about what they thought as they watched James put on a clinic on Sunday. Responses ranged from “Amazing, dude was possessed out there.” to “He’s like a more handsome Dean Youngblood” to “When did Filthy Gorgeous change their name to Filthier?”. 
In addition to his stellar performance on the rink, he also bought an apartment this week and had a birthday. Talk about a banner week, this guy is flying higher than Christian Slater at a party held by Pablo Escobar. 
Yeah, I really like the 80’s. 

Walker decided that with only 2.5 games this week, there would be no 3 Stars. Well sorry JW, you don’t get to decide there is no Christmas! If there’s one thing we’ve learned recently, you may have your own beliefs, but you can’t push your beliefs on others.

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