Why the “Return of Romeo” was the best thing to happen to BTSH in Years
April 25th, 2014
He’s here.
Should you like Romeo? Of course not. Even Dominic doesn’t really like Romeo. But you should like that he returned and love the way he did it.
Week 4 Preview: Part II
April 24th, 2014GOTW: Happy Little Elves at Denim Demons
Our second Game of the Week features one of the league’s nastiest rivalries. Even though the Elves and the Demons are no longer in the same division, this should still be a spirited affair. Last week, the Elves took a big step towards retaining the no longer prestigious (but still imaginary) Fairy Tale Cup with a win against the Gremlins, while the Demons suffered a tough loss to LBS, Inc.
The Fairy Tale Cup may be imaginary, but the Barnacle Bowl is real.
Who is this mysterious Boris? He’s got three goals on the season and has been one of the biggest reasons for the Elves’ 2-0 start (Rob Walsh and his four goals have too, but we’re not focusing on him). Is he American? Russian? Maybe a Bulgarian brute? One thing is for sure, though. Whenever Sarah T. , and only Sarah T., tells Boris to do something, he does. She can be seen during games pacing the sidelines, yelling out instructions such as, “Boris, cover point!”, “Boris, forecheck!”, or “Boris, score goal!”
Keys for the Denim Demons:
Where’s Coach? Has anyone seen Coach? The Demons’ goaltender has been very reliable with his attendance in the past, so his absence is definitely concerning. There are unconfirmed and unsubstantiated “sightings” of Coach from the past few weeks, once at an East Village Chipotle in early April, and once at a Western Pennsylvania Eat’n Park over the weekend. We might need to get Leslie Nielsen involved to find Coach. What’s that? He’s dead?! Uh oh! Unfortunately, the mystery of Coach could take all summer to solve.
This man was our last hope for finding Coach.
The Elves have been firing on all cylinders to start the season, and the aforementioned Boris and newcomer John Brügger have given their roster a little more depth than in years past. If Coach is still not present and accounted for, things could get rough for the Demons. They might have to use the ultimate unknown factor: a free agent goalie. Or, you know, Coach could magically re-appear. Either way, I think the Elves get the win, 3-2.
Rich’s Pick: What do Boris, Walsh and Sarah T. have in common? All probably won’t play this Sunday. Right now we have one girl so I’m not loving our chances. I think I’ll go conservative and just go with Elves 13, Demons 0.
Derek’s Pick: If Rich is telling the truth (which he always does), and Boris, Walsh, and Sarah T. are all AWOL, I have to go with the Demons, 4-2.
Week 3 Preview (Part 1)
April 22nd, 2014Game of the Week
Anshu is 7 steps ahead of Cherie. This doesn’t bode well for Math.
So the Game of the Week is the game with the two undefeated teams. We all knew the Hookers would be undefeated since they didn’t play Fresh Kills yet, but this is the first time Math’s been 2-0 in their history. (Unless they’ve done it before…how the hell should I know?!?) (Emeritus Note: It happened in 2013. You know, last year! Ladies and gentlemen, let’s hear it for our esteemed Editor-In-Chief, Rich Glanzer!)
Keys for Hookers:
After touring all 10 Provenchers of Canada, Jason Eitel is set to make his season debut.
Here he takes a picture with me and a special ed adult.
Well we know “HE” is back for the Rehabs but what about Jason Eitel? Did he retire from the league after being named Championship MVP? The answer is no, because we don’t name a Championship MVP…though that’s a pretty good idea. Truthfully, the Hookers are so stacked that if they are missing 2-3 guys it really doesn’t matter. For the Hookers to win they should play a patient game and not let Math feed off of their emotion. Math is going to want this game more than the Hookers, so the champs should just settle the game down and make this game about skill.
Rose Tournamanet- Sat April 26. Pay for charity, Play for Glory!
April 21st, 2014I’ve won several Fairy Tale Cups, a few Barnacle Bowls and the McCarran Park Cup, but nothing compares to the thrill of when I switched teams after I was eliminated, and won the 2010 Rose Charity Tournament. It’s great because you can check someone and when they get mad you just say, “It’s for charity bro.” Then she gets up and understands. So pay for the charity, and play for the glory!
It’s the Rose Charity! This charity goes so that Rachel, Diane and Becky all get roses since their cheap ass boyfriends never get them any.
Or it may go to fund a physical rehab center in Cambodia, a project that provides land-mine, cleft-lip and palate and eye surgery, as well as educational support and holistic physical rehabilitation.
But pretty sure it just goes so they get flowers. Either way, its a lot of hockey for a cheap price and for a good cause.
Week 2…Not 3 Stars
April 17th, 2014Every week we bring you the 3 Stars of the week. Being that Derk and myself are heels, sometimes we are going to bring you the Not 3 Stars. Today is one of those days. If you get one of them, it means though we like you, you have failed at hockey.
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Every girl hockey player but Noelle. On the BTSH stats page Noelle is the leader for the ladies of BTSH with 3. 12 are tied with 1. (Suz is one of the 12 and hers was an empty net so that should really only be worth a half) Regardless, pick it up ladies!
