Week 2 (Or is it now 1?) Previews Part 1
April 2nd, 2014We said you gotta win to earn GOTW and that leaves us with very little options for this coming week, since Evil Commissioner Tim Brown canceled the games.
We are sick of this picture too!
But after the first ever annual McCarren Park Cup, Rachel Greene said the Butchers added a really great Canadian girl and a special surprise that the media doesn’t know about.
Ehhh…Wickenheiser is good for a girl and all. But I’d rather have Sarah T. and Adela.
So that’s good enough for us to give them GOTW, especially since they play league powerhouse Fresh Kills.
GOTW: Fresh Kills at Butchers
Keys for the Butchers:
The surprise.
Holy Cat…it’s Wayne Friggin Gretzky!
That surprise better be Wayne Friggin Gretzky because Fresh Kills can handle a really good Canadian girl. The Butchers seem to be in better shape than we gave them credit for, but their free agents who we never heard of better be reallllly good if they are to win this game.
Keys for Fresh Kills:
For Tim not to fear rain? I’m a pretty big believer in putting 12 talented hockey players together and they will gel by game 1. But I’m more of a believer that a team that is better than the sum of their parts is best of all. Make no mistake, Fresh Kills has talent but they play better as a group than any team in BTSH does.
Prediction:
The Butchers actually almost beat Fresh Kills in the playoffs in 2012. They were up 2-0 fairly late and were up by a goal with around a minute left, but Soko scored to tie it and FK won in OT. But 2012 was a long time ago for the Butchers. I expect a spirited game but in the end, FK will win 5-2.
Eli’s Pick: Fresh Kills 4, Butchers 0
Derek’s Pick: Fresh Kills 6, Butchers 1
Sunday’s 3 Stars
March 31st, 2014
Chadwick scores “Golden Goal” to win first ever McCarren Park Championship
Every Monday we will be doing the three stars of the week. We’re not sure if the stars will be hockey, bar, or reffing related, but we want to start your week off right.
Unfortunately, because of Rain Fears, BTSH Commissioner Tim Brown decided to cancel fun. However a few renegades risked their lives, and went against The Authority, so we at The Media could give you Monday content. To those heroes, we say thank you.
So without further ado…we bring you the 3 Stars from the first ever annual, McCarren Park Championship.
*** Rob Walsh
Elves battle as Walsh and Chadwick fight for the ball, and world domination.
Walsh wins, as Sarah T., tries to inconspicuously drive past in her Elves lime green car in the background.
**Rachel Greene
Rachel dresses in all black in mourning of the promised 2013 All-Star Game that never happened.
Rachel changes into a similar all black outfit, this time for the promised 2014 Opening Day that never happened.
* Ben Chadtrick
This is why I never return Dana’s texts to join the Elves. We just won an amazing championship and instead of celebrating our glorious victory, she is too concerned about Schuey crying. The talent is there Dana…you just need to focus on what BTSH is all about. WINNING!
The champions celebrate their glorious victory. Somewhere Tim Brown is seething that these four heroes, had fun on his watch.
March 30 Games Postponed Due to Rain Fears
March 30th, 2014Mr Met is not a fan of BTSH
For the first time in the Modern Era of BTSH (2008-Present) Opening Day has been washed out.
Commissioner Tim Brown would also like to remind you there is no such thing as Santa Claus, America is in a deep recession and pending sequel spoiler alert, ET dies on his way home…when he crashes into that tree.
It’s a very short sequel as ET crashes into tree, moans for 27 seconds, dies, fade to black, then sad music and credits.
Craig has seen it giddily 7 times already.
As of now, games are still on for next week.
This is not the picture you want to see tomorrow
March 29th, 2014
In BTSH Mr. Met has always* been synonymous with Rain Fears. Legend has it on a beautiful sunny day Dave from the Tuques saw a cloud in the sky and called off his game, and Rain Fears was born.
Since the Modern Era of 2008-present commissioners have dealt with Rain Fears differently. Bob W. often played through hurricanes and floods, because he felt the league was getting too soft.
Commssioners Thoughts:
Bob W. Tough kid…willing to play in the rain, I like him.
Adriano: What the fuck is wrong with this kid? How is he holding his stick? I’m canceling this shit.
Brown: Heyyyyyyy….maybe he can play in the 2013 All-Star Game??
Bratta on the other hand, turned corporate and was worried about you nilly’s suing him.
Corporate Adriano takes no chances.
Tim is mulling the pros and cons of playing tomorrow…
So will the headline read Game On, or Rain Fears tomorrow? Only time will tell. And Tim Brown. He will also tell. Probably at 11 a.m. tomorrow.
Lets go Mets and all, but not tomorrow.
*= Since approximately 2010 or something.
Week 1 Preview (Part II)
March 28th, 2014This Game of the Week features Gut Rot, who also “won the off-season”, but not to the level of La Famiglia, which is why Gut Rot goes second. So even when Gut Rot wins, they still kind of lose.
Creamy cant let Gut Rot enjoy their moment, by topping them and going to La Famiglia.
