btsh.org

Our learned panel of hockey journalists have convened and picked this years finalists. Are you on the list (hint: if you’re on the Mathematics, the answer is probably yes):

Most Underrated Male  

 1. Ryan Mills – Gremlins

2. Tommy Capotosta – LBS

3. Brad Schmidt – Mathematics

4. Olivier Brassard – Skyfighters

5. Rem Garavito – Cobra Kai

Most Underrated Female  

 1. Carly Czuba – Poutine Machine

2. Alice Bertoni – Fresh Kills

3. Laura MacNeil – TSR

4. Girl on Elves (The one Rich keeps talking about)

5. Christina Hopkins – Denim Demons

BTSH Hall of Fame Award  

1. Andy Pratt – Mathematics

2. Stacy Kehoe – Rehabs

3. Ken Poulin – LBS

The Stacy S. Kehoe Award for Toughness and Grace  

 1. Dustin Olson for “the Mouse Scooping Incident”

2. Sarah Torenten – Happy Little Elves

3. Rachel Greene – Butchers

4. Sunny Mehra – Filthy Gorgeous

5. Courtney Butler – Gouging Anklebiters

The Guinness & Jameson Award for Best Duo

 1. Zack Norris & Mama Norris

2. Mike Smith & Heather Aspergen – Gut Rot

3. Zack Norris & Sam Norris

4. Zack Norris & Diane Johnson

5. Jeff Kamen & Zack Tinkelman – Denim Demons

The Jon “Dinner Plate” Feldman Award for Agitation & Instigation  

1. Tom Macdonald – WTP

2. Adela Ibric – HLE

3. Dave Sokol – Fresh Kills

4. Adam Rubens & Zack Tinkelman – Denim Demons

5. Bryan Welch – Rehabs

The Shortbus Memorial Award for Best Hockey Mom

1. Liza Watts – Gut Rot

2. Amy Donohue – Gouging Anklebiters

3. Sandy “Mama” Norris – Mathematics

4. Kami Moore – Filthy Gorgeous

5. Corey Winters – WTP

The MegaTouch Award for Being MegaTouch

1. Megatouch

2  Megatouch

3. Megatouch

4. Megatouch

5. Zack Norris – Mathematics

The Showtime Award for Best Team Switch 

1. Eric Ramirez – Butchers to Gut Rot

2. Tim Brown – PM to LBS

3. Derek Tagliarino – Math to HLE

4. Joanne Provencher & Suz – their teams to any team that needed female players

5. Dave Gil de Rubio – TSR to LBS

The Cory Winters Player’s Player Award (Male) (formerly the Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award)  

1. Ben Bloom – Butchers

2. John Walker – Gremlins

3. Aaron “Coach” Pagdon – Denim Demons

4. Ariel Kipnis – Dark Rainbows

5. Jamie B – La Famiglia

The Cory Winters Player’s Player Award (Female) (formerly the Brendan “Flounder” Hay Memorial Award)  

1. Sarah Newnam – Corlears Hookers

2. Sena Ito – Rehabs

3. Sandy “Mama” Norriss – Mathematics

4. Suz – Filthy Gorgeous

5. Allison M. – Skyfighters

The Eighth Annual Bob Weyersberg Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence  

1. Dan Hopper – Skyfighters

2. Phil Donohue –Gouging Anklebiters

3. Anika Sweetland & Tommy Chong – Gut Rot

4. Sean Reynolds – Dark Rainbows

12:30-3:00 Open Scrimmage
3:00 till Game Finish – Corlears Hookers vs. LBS
After the Game – Season End Party at ACE Bar
After the Party – the After Party
After the After Party – Hotel Lobby (Seth’s ready for it)

Fresh Kills, again?

While any of the above would be a valid excuse, we have to admit to a certain amount of writer’s block due mainly to the inevitability of this years playoffs. No real upsets, no great story lines, not even a nice Claude Lemieux like inciting incident to create bad blood (although What the Puck did their best to make that happen last week). No, the 2013 Playoffs have all the drama of this season’s version of BIG BROTHER. And like that CBS institution, even Glanzer is barely interested anymore.

Still, if you look real hard, there are some story lines to follow in this week’s match ups:

#6 Corlears Hookers at #1 Fresh Kills
3:30 PM, Tompkins Square West 

If familiarity breeds contempt, then these two teams must really dislike each other. That’s because they’ve met twice in the last month or so and they’ve also met numerous times in the playoffs.

For the Hookers, the Kills have been dream killers, beating them out in the finals a few years ago (in a game that Mike Sokol refers to as “the start of our dynasty”) and then repeating that effort in 2011. Dustin and co. are starting to feel like the Buffalo Bills and K-Fos is starting to look like Troy Aikman to them (or at least Jimmy Johnson). But there are glimmers of hope on the horizon. When the Kills were looking to notch the perfect season in league history, it was Danilo, Sarah and company who stepped up and said, “Not on my watch.” If they can find that same fire again, it’s entirely possible they may find themselves in the finals again.

For the Kills, the biggest concern is over-confidence. That’s why it may help them to play the only team that dealt them an “L” in the regular season. The other letter they need to be concerned about is “C”. As in injured captain, Dimitri “Dave” Sokol. It was clear in last week’s quarter-finals that Sokol was faking a bum ankle as a psychological motivating tactic for his sometimes listless superstars. Witness his epic sprints towards the referees in the second half of the game. Those are not the moves of a disabled player. Still, Sokol may play that card once more and keep himself out of this Sunday’s lineup. The key factor in that game time decision may be the return of Scott “Quick-Lee” Lee from his tryout with Canucks (who’ve been treating BTSH like their farm team of late. Good luck, Seth!). If the “Asian Rocket” is in the starting lineup expect Dave to sit out the game and focus on a war of the words with Hookers mouthpiece Peter “Don Cherry Jr.” Putka.

#4 Denim Demons at #2 LBS, Inc.
3:30 PM, Tompkins Square East  

The key to this game is the LBs. goalie controversy. As in will they have one? Rumor has it that Adam Rubens is objecting to the Lacoste Lovers request to use heckle wall favorite Tim Brown in nets. If that’s the case then what are the alternatives for the Preppie Puckhandlers?

1) BRIAN BARRETT – BB is certainly big enough to fill the net and cause problems for the Demons shooters. Playing goalie also may be the only way for Barrett to not get called for high sticking during the game. However, expecting Brian to stay focused on anything for 50 minutes is probably asking too much.

2) ERICA LEE – There’s a prevailing belief in hockey that most goaltenders are a little bit crazy. There’s a prevailing belief on other teams that Erica is a little bit crazy. Of course, that rumor that has been spread mainly by Karen Erickson. We think it’s a tactic to give the talented Lee more space on the court. But if there’s any truth to it, she might be a good fit between the pipes.

3) TOMMY CAPOTOSTA – TC is fast. In fact, he’s so fast that he could probably play in net and still contribute to the LBs. offense. We’ve never seen a goalie join the rush before. But Capotosta could pull it off.

4) AARON “COACH” PAGDON – The best solution may be to put the Demons in the same boat. The LBs. are a good looking team and might just be able to seduce the dynamic but sometimes lonely DD keeper. Sure Ken and Sascha may be married now. But one of them should take one for the team. We knows Guvs would understand.

Of course, if none of the above inspires you, there’s always the Barnacle Bowl.