3 Stars of the Round of 16!
October 14th, 2015
Written by JW
3rd star: The late scrimmage clean-up crew
Apparently Derek was on clean-up duty elsewhere.
(‘Future Derek’ photo credit: Alex Eben Meyer)
BTSH, we are perhaps the most disgusting people on the planet. I swear that at various points I saw someone in the clean-up crew carrying a dirty diaper, a hypodermic needle, and a plastic grocery bag full of vomit. I mean, who does that? Who pukes in a bag and then leaves it there?? Everyone knows that behind the tree is the designated puking spot. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. Well, except those of you who helped clean up.
This crew of BTSHers, headed up by Timmy and Eli (big ups), accomplished what no one else wanted to do, without being asked. I decided as I was helping clean up to talk to some of the other peeps helping. Responses ranged from “The more people who help the quicker we get done” to “yo J Dubs, toss me that empty can of Piels” to Diane Johnston’s “Oh gross, no no NO, please tell DO NOT me that is a dead rat. GAH-ross! Aaaaaaah!”. It was great to see everyone come together and pitch in to get the courts clean after the late scrims. Just another example of the sense of community which is engrained in BTSH. And, through it all……….I think I still have a bloody Band-Aid stuck to the bottom of my hockey sneakers.
2nd star: Scott Kaston – Lbs, Inc.
Yo assholes, I just got my first career hat trick, ya heard?? (mic drop)
Scott amassed an even BIGGER cheering section this week and they were even MORE loud and obnoxious. And we all loved it, even MORE. I mean, these kids were OFF THE WALL this week. I swear I saw them line up and do a spanking machine after the game. But perhaps my eyes deceived me. Apparently this larger more raucous crowd propelled Scott to new heights as he scored his first career hat trick in the most important game of his rookie year. This was enough to take down the mighty Hookers (Scott 3, Hookers 2). While the Lbs. were technically favored in this matchup, we all know how lethal the Hookers are. Attendance issues plagued them this year which caused them to be the 13 seed, yet those attendance issues rarely seem to plague the Hookers in the post-season. Rich tells me that this is only the 2nd time ever that the Hookers have been eliminated before the semi-finals, and this is the earliest they have EVER been eliminated. This of course is a huge feat, and due in large part to Scott’s play on Sunday. I asked him how he did it, and he replied “You know, man, I just, well, it’s like….(chugs half a beer and then spikes the half-full can on the ground incredibly hard) Woooooo!!! Fuck yeah man!!!” Wow, this kid is as amped up as the crew that comes to watch him play.
1st star of the week: The Gremlins
(photo credit: Tia Lendo)
(written by league face, Zach Norris)
Narrator: “It was a beautiful Sunday. A particularly beautiful day for an upset in playoff street hockey. The Denim Demons were to face off against the Gremlins. The odds were stacked against the Gremmies at a height much greater than the stacked pads of Aaron “Pipe Controller” Pagdon.”
Ryan “Jeter Who? I am THE Captain” Mills: “Hey! Narrator! What the hell are you talking about?! We are the 8th seed, Demons the 9th. MY Gremlins beat the Demons in the regular season. How the hell can we be the under dog!? Explain to me how…”
For this battle, the Gremlins undoubtedly hold 1st star of the week, excellent game!
Honorable mention: The goalies
Sorry I didnt have room for all of you, fellas. But here is something the BTSH universe may not realize, yet it definitely caught the eye of yours truly: Of 12 play off games played thus far, including the play-in games, 7 of those have been shutouts. MORE THAN HALF, that is a just plain amazing stat. Thus far, shutouts were logged by: Dave Gil de Rubio, “His Name Is” Kevin Longwell, Mike Maloney, Tim Kayiatos, James Stein, Showtime “Retired” Melendez, and Dave Liang. Additionally, this week Craig got what I am told was only his 2nd career playoff win. (Seriously, even with all those shots I used to block for you, dude? Hmm, this doesn’t sound accurate.), and Ramirez held the always dangerous Sky Fighters to only 1 goal, keeping his team in the game the whole time. Also, we all know from the 1st star write-up what Jamie B. did this week. It is no secret that I am a huge goalie fan, but, let’s all tip our hats this week, kids.
Vote for the 3 Stars of the Season
October 12th, 2015An MVP will be crowned. And you will be the one making your vote count!
She can see Tompkins Square Park from her apartment on Avenue B and 9th street!
Playoff Round of 16 Box Scores
October 12th, 2015LBS Looks Strong Against Hookers
Timmy takes another important call.
Gremlins: Rod Sherwood
Denim Demons: Adam “Legend Killer” Rubens
Goalie Win: Jamie Batuwantudawe
Shootout: Gremlins win shootout 2-1.
#1 Filthier 5, #19 Tompkins Square Riots 0
Filthier: Denis Miciletto 3, Sunny Mehra, Shafiq Perry
Shutout: Tim Kayiatos
#5 Sky Fighters 1, #12 Gut Rot 0
Sky Fighters: Mike Teytelbaum
Shutout: James Stein
#4 LBS, Inc. 4, #13 Corlears Hookers 2
LBS, Inc.: Scott Kaston 3, Tommy Capatosta
Corlears Hookers: Danilo Biagioni, Sarah Newnam
Goalie Win: Tim “Gunz” Brown
#3 Rehabs 3, #16 Instant Karma 0
Rehabs: Rob B. 2, Ramy Odeh
Shutout: $h0wT!m3
#6 Mathematics 2, #11 Butchers 0
Mathematics: Nathan Norris, Sam Norris
Shutout: David Liang
#7 Gouging Anklebiters 4, #10 Cobra Kai 3 (OT-SO)
Gouging Anklebiters: Ben Probert 2, Charles DeFranco
Cobra Kai: Doug Bova, Dan Innamorato, Liam Martens
Goalie Win: Craig LaCombe
Shootout: Biters win 1-0.
#2 Fresh Kills 2, #18 Dark Rainbows 1
Fresh Kills: Gabe Chenard 2
Dark Rainbows: Rachel Klion
Goalie Win: Patrick Barch
Playoff Round of 16 Previews
October 8th, 2015Let The Tournament Begin!
Spoiler: Dude in the blue wins this fight, but eventually gets his leg bone broken by Chong Li.
Editor’s Note: The following was written by everyone’s favorite Denim Demon (which isn’t saying much), Jennifer Popack. Although we at The ORG helped with her with some of the spreads to ensure accuracy, you can attribute all uses of the first person to her.
Because my football team and I broke up, I needed to fill a void, and the best solution is to become a complete degenerate and gamble on BTSH playoff games…which I’m now going to share with all of you! You were obviously going to stick around and watch all the games on Sunday anyway, but now you have an even better reason to heckle teams and give a crap.
Here are the rules: we will generate a spread for each of the games throughout the playoffs. You have to make your selections each week in the attached excel grid and email it to me by Saturday afternoon. The person with the highest number of correct picks at the end of the playoffs will be the winner. If there’s a tie, the tiebreak will be your guess of total number of goals scored throughout the playoffs (closest total will win). It’s just $5 to play, and the size of the pot will depend on how many people decide to join – so spread the word!! (Venmo, PayPal, and cold hard cash are all acceptable forms of payment – jpopack <at> gmail)
Without further ado, here are this week’s spreads (playoff seed in parentheses):
3 Stars of the Opening Round!
October 7th, 2015
What an opening round: 3 out of 4 upsets this week, and all 3 of them were shutouts. Amazing. A big part of me wanted to give all 3 stars to the 3 goaltenders who had shutouts, but I decided that might be a little too obvious a route.
It wasn’t easy this week, but here we go…..
3rd star: Peter Wilson – Instant Karma
He was able to notch 2 for Karma with a child on his head the whole game.
A longtime skilled player in the league, Pete scored 2 out of his team’s 3 goals in their first ever playoff game Sunday, including the game winner. This was a game everyone expected the Elves to win. (Karma were at such a loss for strategy going into the game that they were toying with the idea of using a Flying V formation. Or kidnapping Gil.) They did not end up having to do either of those things to get the win. Staunch defense, great goaltending and a stellar offensive game from Pete did the trick. Side note: I won’t mention Captain Chadwick missing the gimme empty net goal here…it’s already been talked about it enough.
2nd star: Bill Lin – Dark Rainbows
Catch him if you can.
1st star of the week: Dave Gil de Rubio – Tompkins Square Riots
Poised and ready.
Dave had a rough week leading up to this game – he and the Riots lost their last game 11-1, his father passed away and he just found out that his favorite show Beverly Hills 90210 was cancelled (Dave is a little behind on reading the news, apparently. Spoiler alert, Dave: Donna Martin DID, in fact, graduate). Despite all this adversity Dave was able to do his best Taylor Swift, and shake it off.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM
Remaining focused and determined Dave turned away EVERY shot from a potent WTP offense, logging the shutout and advancing his team to the Round of 16. While the Riots were an underdog in this matchup, you wouldn’t have known it by the way Dave and the rest of the squad played. I would have interviewed Dave about his impressive shutout, but I was too busy scrimmaging for 4 hours. Oops.
I imagine he would have said something humble and graceful, as always, though.
Perhaps something like this?
Congrats to one of the hardest working goalies in show business on an extremely well-deserved 1st star. It couldn’t have gone to a better guy.
